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A Commission Flash Animation for RainbowsunLight
using Her Original 'Naruto Style" Character (Jordan)
its a commission thats why the lake of Story comprende?
i used alot of effort into this! many Frame By Frame Scenes!
i hope the hard work pay off!
if you like my shit please follow me on twitter and or subscribe me on Youtube
i also Thank X9001 times Caxx, Rudi999 and Twisted4000 for they Amazing Voices!!
With Lova Bocodamondo
voice act good
animation was okay but alittle work on the frame and drawing u could have made it better.
all and all its a good flash but it did lag at points in the animation...
but u did a great work u should be proud of:)
I have mixed feelings about this video.
Animation: It could have been better drawn, but its not bad. I enjoyed the battle. Though at parts the chars were kind of stiff. Especially during the jumping, and the part at the beginning with the running. I dont animate myself so my advice may be kind of worthless, but if someone is running, try making them seem inclined. You're doing a Naruto kind of battle, when they run they always incline forward. Maybe that would help a bit. Another thing that is really important is the shadowing. There was none. It would make the difference in the animation if there was shadowing to your chars. 3/5
Story/Plot: Dont get me wrong... but it was kind of cheesy. It says in the description that this is a commission, so I guess that there was a script handed to you so you could animate it. I wont hold the cheesiness against you. But one thing I will hold against you is the way you made the male mist ninja's eyes tremble. It looked like he was about to cry or get raped. If someone gets hit, they wont make that kind of face looking sad and biting their lip. They will frown and crunch their teeth, maybe wipe blood off their face indifferently. 3/5
Audio: The music went in place, but I cant help but saying that the step sounds at the beginning didnt fit. (with the girl runninfg and all). But besides that, the fire sounds and the voices went along well with the video... with the exception of when the bad guy falls into the dark abyss saying 'Aiiiiieeee!'. I really think he should have screamed 'Noooo' or something. Lol 4/5
Anyway, nice work. 3.5/5
Keep practicing and Im sure you'll get better and better.
Hope my review seemed fair.
now thats a review of my taste ^^
thanks for the critic. and i appricate everysingle detail you said :)
yeah im aware about the fact that the first running animation was terrible. i think its exactly the reason why this flash ends up with a low score. cuz if pepoles watch a flash. the first seconds are the most important ones...and mine sucked at those.
im also aware about the point. i need "runing cycle" tutorials.
the story is lousy i know ^^
i think the "aaaahh" fit more then "noo" cuz the fall was a suprise for him. and not he was counscious as the bridge explodes.
so thanks for the review. and il be practcing more ^^
Actually this wasn't half bad. Looking at a lot of your past stuff, you can see major improvements in the facial expressions, animation frames and lip syncing. I did kinda find that the dialogue could have been better, it seemed a little dry and generic but this was mainly supposed to show off the the fight sequences which were pulled together pretty nicely.
With a little bit more practice (cuz I know college and real life complications gets in the way) you can be a master within no time.
It kind of makes me regret I didn't submit my demo for Keto in time though :( would have loved to contribute something. Caxx was a really nice choice as were Rudi and Twisted. Looking forward to more, keep it up!
it was alright, but certain parts about the animation could of been smoother. and the random orgasm the girl has before she "leaves" seemed weird
whats wrong with you?
is sex the only thing in your mind?
I can't help but wonder why he didn't just kill the guy instead of destroy the bridge.
Health Reminder 3: The Unfixable Thought Machine
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