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I KNOW the title is spelled incorrectly. There isn't a way to change the submission title D:
At least not since the update. I'll fix it when I can.
Here it is, finally. I've been working on this for weeks.
It's my first animation using skeletons, and it took FOREVER.
I'm really happy with how it came out.
I'd love some feedback!
The animation was trying to be fluent, i see that, but it was messy and lacking in syching (making all the parts flow together) and spacing (how much you actually spaced your frames). From what i see you need to space your frames out more but keep the same time and distance traveled. It was also dis proportioned, try keeping the same size arms, legs, body, etc throughout the whole thing and try to adding a little more detail to show what's what, and not just a round shape for a foot or tubes for arms and legs.
The writing was bad. Don't just make dick jokes and what-is-this???? humor without proper execution. don't have him say "what is this armor?" when he can clearly tell it's armor. the Ending, after the dick-faggot joke (bad), was A simple and classic set up, but a little more emphasis could have been added to the sudden realization that there was a monster. I get it's suppose to be a immature humor and there's nothing wrong with that, but it need better story, a set up to execute the jokes, and a few twists and unexpected jokes wouldn't hurt as well.
You show influences from Spazkid and Oney, that's fine I'm influence by them as well, but don't take jokes they made and put them into your cartoon with only minor tweaks, like the masturbation scene. If you are going to make a reference joke, try making your own and not just a rip off, change the angle and movement he makes and add a little more purpose for why he's doing it.
You can do better, hopefully you will. But i say you should work on your writing the most so your stuff isn't just typical Newgrounds shit that's just forgotten a week later, make it original and well executed so people will remember it.
loved it like most of your other work and i like the enw animation style the old was amazing but this is just as great also. i think you have a lot of potential and your already on your way to becoming a really great animator. and again hope you and emma are having a good one :)
~ justin chesler
It was enjoyable. I don't mean to be part of the "Egorapture" so i'll judge fairly rather than giving a blind 0.
Left 4 Speed 2 (wanking ghoul scene looked identical to the charger scene from this)
Pokeawesome (This one not so much but the vomiting animation was pretty similar. Maybe it's just me)
Metal Gear Awesome 2 (This one also may be just me but the whole "Just cut off my head and throw it at the bad guy" was the exact same joke as "Just throw grenades at me". The joke delivery was exactly the same too.
Hejibits Amnesia Comic (NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE)
I did enjoy the animation though and I believe you have a lot of potential. Don't let the fanboys get you down. Just try and have a little more originality.
The animation was also a little wonky but that's nothing practice won't fix.
Overall I give you a 3.5. Fun to watch but distractingly similar to other flashes.
Looking forward to more from you.
This is awesome. Good job.
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