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Don't Catch the Herp!

rated 3.84 / 5 stars
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Simulation - Dating

Credits & Info

Jan 10, 2012 | 1:26 AM EST

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Give Me a Wet One 5 Points Kiss The Girl.
Bar Hoppin' 10 Points Escape the bar in under 20 seconds.
No Red Sores 10 Points Survive The Girl's clutches.
Retro Pro 25 Points Escape in your car in under 20 seconds.
Pattern Recognition 50 Points Get away without retrying.
Freedom! Secret Medal: Unlock this medal to view its details!
LOVE Secret Medal: Unlock this medal to view its details!
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Author Comments

Hai there!

Almost two years in the making, I present the ultimate depiction of the struggle of:
Good and Evil
Justice and Corruption
Freedom and Restraint


Action Button - SPACEBAR
Movement - ARROW KEYS

The following story is based on true events. All names of people and locations involved have been changed in respect of their privacy.

Love you.



Rated 5 / 5 stars

Hell to the YEAH! I'm herpes free!


Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

when i first saw her face no matter how badly it was drawn i was terrified. props to you son.


Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

holy shit she's got more herps


Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

oh my god! So this is what happens when a girl has herpes! O.o


Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

I couldn't stop shaking throughout the whole game after the first time she beckoned me "Closer". Geez, it was like a moment of Closer by Ne-Yo. Only, not sexy.

Here're a few tips for other first-timers in this game.

#1: Get ready for screwin' the space bar real fast after the revelation that she has the H.

#2: When the drinking bar is in your way, jump, duh. When the geyser comes shootin', just be patient and give it a few seconds of waitin'.

#3: It's like Cross-the-Road frog thing, only, you gotta' get to your car, and BE PREPARED to run back with the madwoman in the road like a juggernaut getting every vehicle out of her way like a Goddess. Only, not sexy.

#4: Get your keys, scram. Oh, screw the space bar some more here.

#5: Don't worry, she won't let you go that easily. You'll have to avoid the ... weird purple hearts she shoots at your way after some time of just trying not to be run over.

#6: Then she utilizes this mega pincher thing that you have No. Way. Of. Avoiding. Cue to harass the space bar key.

#7: Cutscene, Judge Judy appears, robo vers. Here's what I answered [SPOILERS ALERT] No guilty; She has Herpes; No! She chased me!; HELL NO [END OF SPOILERS ALERT]

I was a free man at last. But I still can't stop shaking as I type this. Ewgh ...
4 Stars for the Potential Nightmare.
3.5 Stars for Gameplay (nothing special if you ignore the story).
5 Stars for Storyline (I refuse to believe such scarring event is real).
3 Stars for Art (your typical stickman with a face).
Overall Grading: 3.5 Stars

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