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Uploaded
Jan 6, 2012 | 1:41 AM EST

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Author Comments

how to kill two birds with one stone, a guide to killing fowl with limited resources
this is my first flash and it's a simple idea i had. hopefully everything after this will be much better and more well put together.

Reviews


milkman2011milkman2011

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

tit punch

oh, man, when that birdsey shore thing came on, i couldn't stop laughing. overall, good flash movie, could have used a bit more upbeat music. granted, the music did fit the speed of the movie itself, but that also could have been a bit faster. ETHICAL!


evanarmagast responds:

thank you for your kind response


spammer4lifespammer4life

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

good for first flash

nice, when its your first!


evanarmagast responds:

thanks!


RobertCookRobertCook

Rated 4 / 5 stars

The Ideas Are Funny...

...starting with the cliche of killing two birds with one stone. I liked the absurdity of taking it literally. Two pieces of criticism, which I hope are constructive: the pacing is slow. Once the audience has absorbed the idea, it's time to move on. Working with faster music would help. You might need to come up with a couple of more gags too, or your animation would be awfully short.

Second -- and this one is personal, it might not apply to everyone -- I thought the tit punch was kind of dark for something as lighthearted and surrealistic as the rest of it was. I wasn't offended (I'm damned hard to offend). It just seemed out of place.

Finally, "dynamite" is spelled like I just spelled it. That's not really criticism though, because I don't know whether you meant to misspell it or not. (That I couldn't tell might be legitimate criticism. You be the judge.)

Still, good work, especially for a first Flash.


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evanarmagast responds:

i questioned the pacing a lot in my head. ultimately, it came down to: if it had gone much faster, it felt way too short. i should have at least done a better job of making the animations for each individual way more interesting to watch. and as far as the inappropriate tit punch goes, i feel i completely messed up how inappropriate the animation was supposed to feel. to be honest, the whole thing was supposed to be kind of dark, but wrapped in colorful, cartoony art style. like, the birds are cute, but they're being killed. in one case, the joke is a brutal murder/suicide. i'll try and do a better job of sticking to one level of inappropriate-ness. lastly, flash needs a spell check. i remember looking it up at one point to make sure i spelled it right, but i must have ignored it or something. i just uploaded a new version with correct spelling.


HaggardHaggard

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Not too bad for a first submission

Since this is your first submission it's just natural that there are many flaws to this submission, but even the greatest artists on this site had to start at this level at one point in their carreer.

I like that you converted a little idea into a flash, using a basic sort of script and presenting this idea here on newgrounds. You didn't take the easy way out by just submitting another pointless stick fight movie.

The graphcis are decent, but your backgrounds leave a lot to be desired. Most of the time they where simply plain white, which isn't that appealing to look at.
However, the birds where drawn in a pretty nice way.

I could go on about every tiny detail in this submission, but I guess you know best that you still need more practice to create something really mindblowing.

But instead of rambling on I would like to point out that you also have to work on the pace of a story. Here the pace is too slow for my liking. The scenes dragged on for a pretty long time, considering that there isn't that much to see in each scene anyway. Maybe try to speed up the movie a little bit and then add some more ideas of how you could kill two birds with one stone (a short idea that pops into my head: have one bird press down the gas pedal of a car with a stone and the car drives over two other birds lying on the street).

Also, the sentence "No birds where hardem ..." was "cut off" at the end, meaning that it appeared and before I could even finish reading it the end screen appeared.

So, overall this isn't a bad submission. Considering that this is your first submission it is pretty good, even. Things to work on are your drawing and animation skills and the script writing or pacing of a story.

Hope to see more from you soon!

{ Review Request Club }


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evanarmagast responds:

let me start off by saying, thank you for the review. i definitely noticed the lack of backgrounds. i was considering it for a long time, but i honestly felt it wasn't exactly worth the effort. i mean, it was a very simple concept and i felt like backgrounds would take longer than the rest of the animation. but i've already started working on my next animation complete with full backgrounds. haha. and yeah, pace seems to be my main problem. i mentioned in a previous review response that i tested out making it faster, but that just made it seem like it was too short. i feel the compromise would have been doing a better job of making the birds more animated and amusing. alternatively, maybe i should have just come up with more ideas than just three. haha. lastly, the "no birds were harmed" was supposed to be kinda fast. it seemed right in my head, but i still probably made it too fast. thank you again for the review. look for new stuff coming up soon.


KnuckstrikeKnuckstrike

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Pretty good

I was immediately surprised by the nice preloader. Although the birds are drawn pretty simple, it's still nice to have. Way better than you usually see.

The music was a nice choice. It's nice for a guide, which I think you kind of wanted to make. I'm surprised how you found it, since it isn't a very popular song.
The music stopped when you press the replay button though. A small thing you might want to get fixed.

The graphics aren't stunning or anything, but sufficient. At least there was some movement in each of the three scenes. It wasn't enough to keep me interested though.

The ideas of the scenes are nice. They are clear, and not unoriginal. Three scenes isn't a lot though. Some more scenes would make it better.

The only thing that disappointed me a bit was the ending. It was very short, and just a grey screen with some text.

Overall there are not things that are bad about this flash, but also it's not spectacular enough to stand out from the crowd. A bit slow, but still nicely drawn.

Review request club.


evanarmagast responds:

thank you for the review. yeah, i put a lot of effort into the preloader. i'm still not sure why. i think simply because drawing the stage was more fun than drawing much of anything else. something i'll have to keep in mind for future animations. as far as the music goes, i've been a fan of catacombkid for a while now. i figured his smooth, ambient-almost electronic would be best suited. i did look around the audio portal briefly, but no one had the feel that i was looking for. and yes, i noticed the music/replay situation, but i couldn't honestly see people clicking the replay button so i didn't worry about it too much, and you being the only person to mention it makes me feel like i was right. and as far as the blank ending goes, that shouldn't be a problem in the future. i figured i would use those end frames as showcases for my other animations, but since this was my first, that wasn't really an option.