Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
The second cartoon of Funny If Swallowed. Bill's frequent restroom visits uncovers an office scheme.
All crits welcome.
But like the guy before said. Work on your clipping and layers. The man's hand cuts straight through his arm. And at one point, I think I saw the main character's eye explode or something. Not a bad video for a second . Need some work on better endings and joke placement. I thought maybe the scheme was supposed to be like they were all using the bathroom when he wanted to because they knew he had some kind of anxiety to use the toilet with other guys in there.
Anyways, work on animation, the sound and voice were fine. Also, work on delivery for jokes and their placement.
Keep an eye on your layers. At some points, they clipped through one another. Decent, but your frame-by-frame needs some work. What frame rate are you using?
Abrupt, random ending
But other than that, it's really good. You nailed the comedic timing and script, but the frame-by-frame animation could use some work (it would look better than just motion tweens). Keep it up.
A hamster falls in love with a schoolteacher & saves her from demons
Will recovering alcoholic Erik Myers be able to get his life back on track?
AVGN Anime Transformation
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.