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Uploaded
Nov 26, 2011 | 10:53 PM EST
  • Daily 5th Place November 28, 2011

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Author Comments

The world is about to be destroyed. Demil Da'Monisch, an astral guide in charge of taking souls to the Other Side, and Scih Ciresta, a girl that has nothing to do with the dead ones, will go on an adventure to discover what is happening.

****THIS IS A VISUAL NOVEL: THAT MEANS ALMOST NO PLAYABILITY AND ONLY READING. IF YOU DON'T LIKE VISUAL NOVELS CLOSE THIS NOW (or play this one, maybe you like it!)****

My first real game... or whatever.

This is a story I've been working on for a long time now. I hope you like it!
It's the first chapter only. If it's succesful enough, I will release the rest.

This chapter is long, less than an hour but a bit long.

Thank's for playing (or reading, or whatever)!

*************

EDIT

EDIT (28-nov): Next chapter will be released on December 31. You can get more information about releases and things related to my games following me on twitter (@inkainis).

(Daily 5th place!! Thanks a lot!!)

Thank You!

*************

Things I'll add to the engine on chapter 2:
-Increase the speed of the text.
-Use of spacebar for passing the text, aswell as the mouse.
-Revised translation (although I think this one is fine).

Thanks for giving ideas!

Reviews


RetrosamuraiRetrosamurai

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars November 28, 2011

Intriguing Story

I personally liked it, One thing though, give people a warning about how long it is, I sat down prepared for a 3 minute story and instead ending getting home late because I had to finish reading the chapter. Keep up the good work.


People find this review helpful!
Nittram responds:

Oh, thank you for reading it then, really!!

I will, thanks for commenting, playing and for the advice!!!


ZerrifZerrif

Rated 3 / 5 stars November 28, 2011

Not bad.

The story's pretty neat, although it seems rushed at parts, and then horribly drawn out in others.

Also, one way to increase your score is to get someone to proof-read/edit/look over your English version. I understand that spanish is probably your first language, but if you're trying to appeal to English readers then it should be properly translated. Everything sounds so... directly translated, it's like you just stuck everything into Google Translate.

That's the main reason why I'm giving you a low score

Pros:
- Neat Art Style
- Nice mix of 3D + 2D
- Nice story

Cons:
- English version needs some editing.
- Really need to increase text speed. Maybe also not use mouse-- incorporate spacebar to show everything, and then skip?
- Some more planning on flow and "speed" of the story progressing would be good too.


People find this review helpful!
Nittram responds:

Yeah, lot of persons have complain about the speed of the text. But the translation has been made by an american friend, I have looked at it, and is exactly the same as the spanish version.

It's a good idea the use of the spacebar, I might add it in chapter 2.

I will make a list in the Author Comments box of things I have to add.

Thanks for playing and commenting!


LfanLfan

Rated 4 / 5 stars November 28, 2011

Nice, but perhaps a suggestion.

Great story, it's really truly got potential. I can't say much for the way it's set up, but it works for what it is. My only problem with it is that you keep flashing the title in the back throughout the "game". It's not a huge problem, but might I suggest something like a timer? The Elder said that there were 416hrs before the end, and so far at least 12hrs give or take have passed. It would be a neat thing for it to be like a countdown sort of thing, just to sort of show how much time has passed and how much is left (maybe even some drama points later on when we see how much time is left).
But all in all, I actually did rather enjoy this. It was a bit drawn out, but wrapped up nicely. Good luck with the next chapter, I do believe I'll be waiting for it patiently. :)


People find this review helpful!
Nittram responds:

Thank you, as I said, you'll not be dissapointed. And about that timer, it's a great idea! I might use it in the last moments, when the time is running out, but for now I prefer the players not to know how many time it's left.

Anyway, thanks a lot for playing and the idea, I might use it in the future!


cobcriscobcris

Rated 5 / 5 stars November 28, 2011

Grande Nittram!!

Uff, al fin puedo escribir tranquilo por acá xD. Increíble chep. Felicitaciones. Esas referencias a temas existenciales como la muerte, el depredador y las presas, viajes astrales, apocalípsis universal. Jajaj. Quedó joya. ¡Buenísima la música ! El tema hecho todo con whistle está de lujo. Casualidades extrañas del universo:
1. Jajaj en el momento del salto interdimensional miré el reloj y eran las 4:16 :O :O
2. Como la hora que ponés en el reloj de mi juego ( jajajaj ). En mi juego, para pasar al otro plano en el primer nivel. Re loco.
Hey y felicitaciones de nuevo, muy muy muy bueno. Grande Nittram
Estoy esperando el capítulo 2. Buenas fechas, jajaj. Es demencial ésto. Jajajja
Saludos!


Nittram responds:

¡¡Gracias!! En serio, no esperaba que alguien fuese a comentar en español, debe ser una casualidad extraña del unvierso, jaja.

¡¡Muchas gracias por comentar y por jugar o leer o lo que sea!!


StrongBad44224422999StrongBad44224422999

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars November 27, 2011

This is very good.

Very good job but i would like to play a game in the future stile nice work.


People find this review helpful!
Nittram responds:

Future chapters may offer some playability, like puzzles or battles; but that's not sure.

Thank you for playing and for your review!!