In the first age there were two lone male apes. In loneliness they jerked each other off.
And so sprang from their seed the water penis, the gayest thing in the world.
Only the first Joystick, a brave wild man: James Joystick could tame him, and so sealed it under Waterpenis castle which he built by hand.
However the gayness forever continued and contaminated the family. Mark Joystick was touched by the penis and became a complete faggot.
He renamed himself Mark Haynes, because it was a heinous act he committed. And so all looked bleak for the family.
Except then the chosen one was born, Sean Joystick slid out of his mother's womb. And his brother grew jealous, Sean could control the Waterpenis and was eliminating faggotry.
And so the Waterpenis whispered to mark and he became its worm, finally becoming Alvin Earthworm he spawned a myriad of faggots such as Egoraptor and HappyHarry,
And so with the Waterpenis' help they destroyed and pillaged the family of Joystick.
Waterpenis no longer needing Alvin's help, left rude remarks about his terrible sprite movies on his deviantart account. Alvin killed himself later that night.
And then finally Sean was killed in the pool of forgiveness after fucking a rape victim he raped (IE: a complete slut, who thinks she can wear slutty clothes and get away with it).
All looked lost, until the cult of Sean suddenly appeared and crucified Waterpenis, destroying the faggotry forever.