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Jul 1, 2011 | 11:46 AM EDT
  • Daily 3rd Place July 2, 2011

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Author Comments

haha disregard this it sux cox

This is a non-canon, scrapped experiment for Clogged Tubes. The series starts with Episode 1.

Reviews


AxelTheNavyAxelTheNavy

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars July 2, 2011

Well

I can tell that there was alot of effort into it, so I can go into this review with an open mind.

Now, the concept of the rebellious character is kind of of funny sometimes, but it seems to be used alot by people today who think they are the most badass, edgiest fucker alive. (Or at least makes they're character think so) The problem I see with this archtype is that it makes them invulnerable to anything, like a demi god. This makes them act like arrogant, very hateable little fags and invokes the reaction of "Wow I wanna punch that twat."..in me at least. When nothing really bad can happen to them...it's boring, because you know exactly what's gonna happen and how it's gonna play out.

The animation in some parts look slightly rushed, yet in other you showed like you really knew what you were doing. That showed potential. I can't say I'm a fan of the color pallet you used, but I get that this is kinda your first so look at other pics and study what colors they use. You know, something more bright and vibrant that won't make my retinas regurgitate. Also please practice shading..alot. I saw that you tended to overshade alot, and you had alot of unnecessary wrinkles and folds, and shaded the outside hair which I didn't get, lol. Wasn't a fan of the linework either but again you can work on that.

The main bitche's mic was decent, and her voice acting wasn't bad at all actually, but she really could enunciate a bit more for some words sounded clustered. The store clerk was perfect. The bald thug made me wanna shit my pants trying to know what the fuck he was saying. I am glad that fucker is dead.

Honestly this can go two roads right now, decent or terrigay. I can't say much about the plost as one wasn't established yet. I'm guessing it might be a one conflict-per-episode type deal, which is good depending on what you wanna do with these characters. I would say to work on making the character more of a sadist and less of a bitch, if that makes sense. I would recommend adding someone to mirror her personality like a cheerier, bright character. You know, to make her more bearable. Seriously, this right now looks like the DVD would be sold at Hot Topic or something.

But 4 real, I ain't hatin on a nigguh.


People find this review helpful!
Jawnie responds:

It's actually something a bit different to the moody/edgy teenager archetype, though it wasn't portrayed very well in this (one of the main reasons I considered scrapping it). It will, however, be better portrayed properly when the series starts for real. And I'm well aware of the danger of characters becoming invulnerable and boring, this certainly will not turn out to be the case.

Colour palet was limited and linework was shoddy because it was rushed and not much thought or time was put into it. Overshading was intentional, it's not meant to be realistic. It just looked rather bland otherwise. I just thought it looked 'cool' or whatever... eh.

But thanks for the feedback. The stricter critics are always the more useful and insightful.


dogblooperdogblooper

Rated 5 / 5 stars July 2, 2011

different

All I know is that she might become really good at being doctor... maybe.



ladydarkangelladydarkangel

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars July 2, 2011

You got something there

It's a good concept, does get me interested in knowing more about her personality and background but like immortalservant said your fight scene lack a lot of punch. On an other note the way she acts is way too neutral, she is suppose to have fun killing those punks but she still sounds like it's a boredom. Over all nice work a few improvement could make this awesome.



immortalservantimmortalservant

Rated 5 / 5 stars July 2, 2011

Well that is fun

If you'll excuse me I'll just go into this dark ally away from the public's view....It's a Trap! But my question is how come she wasn't carry a weapon? I mean sure it looked like the guy had a knife but to lure an armed person while unarmed just doesn't make much sense. Also she let a witness get away! The fighting wasn't very fun so instead you should have had them chase her into the ally and then she walks out with a little speckle of blood here or there.



ItsaBoy321ItsaBoy321

Rated 5 / 5 stars July 2, 2011

Cool!

Reminds a lot of my bad side by watching this.
Hope to see more and i don't find this sloppy at all. (=