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Jun 27, 2011 | 8:34 PM EDT

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Author Comments

*edit* wow thanks so much for front page! i hope this platform will get people pretty amped about the next episode! i've basically already begun it and can't wait to bring it here! i will try to reply to as many comments as i can

Hey guys!

I'm truly excited to bring the first section of my very own series to Newgrounds. It may not be as action packed as future episodes but i think its a great jumping off point and gives a sense of what the rest of the series will feel like!

Thanks so much to D-mac and Giantjuicy - i made this script a looooong time ago and they probly thought i had forgotten it - im glad to have it out and hope to be contacting the full cast of voice actors for the first episode soon !

I hope to see the first full episode IN the portal by the end of august as well!

So thanks for checkin it out - and try to keep an open mind while watching! (i know this wont be for everyone haha)

i know it feels short but its actually 3min and 3 secs

Full screen and dim the lights - - enjoy!

{{ i will try to respond to as many reviews as i can }}

Reviews


BoogaloogodBoogaloogod

Rated 4 / 5 stars June 29, 2011

Man you guys put some real work in this

And it show. I actually feel really bad rating it 4/8, but the main character is so excrutiatingly annoying. Voices were superb, loved the style of artwork, and as for the plot, i won't beat around the bush, its been done before. That doesn't mean it won't be good, but it does have the need for something to make it stand apart from "We're heroes you've never heard about and you happen to be the only person that can help us" scene.
Looking forward to the next episode.

eat tacos,
~Jon


RedHarvest responds:

yeah man - d-mac and Giant are aces!


SuperCoolSonSuperCoolSon

Rated 4 / 5 stars July 1, 2011

My first review!!! Anyways it's great :)

This was an excellent prologue.

Animation wise it was good enough. Nothing to annoying aside from Jeero's changing body patterns. He was kinda fat at first then skinny. He had normal arms, then super skinny arms. So as long as you keep a standard non-sloppy look I'll have no problems with the animation. "6" was animated well.

I have a few problems with the script. The voices were done just fine, but Jeero was scared of the bullies one second, then the next he started to fight with them again. Doesn't add up... Although I understand it was a excuse to show 6's abilities even when blind, but still...

Aside from those few faults i was really intrigued. Expecting much from this. I always love long lasting plots. Also the name Jeero = Totally badass.


People find this review helpful!
RedHarvest responds:

yeah - i need a lot of work on my consitancy, very true.

and yeah! im quite a fan of that name as well! Even though in many reviews people seem annoyed with him - he gets a lot more badass as time progresses so i guess its fine for now that people dont like him haha


SupahFluffySupahFluffy

Rated 4 / 5 stars June 30, 2011

Pretty cool!

I don't get why you've bothered having a blind character - it's not like any blind people are gonna watch this...


RedHarvest responds:

er...thats not why i put him in there..haha - interesting perspective though?


OdellinOdellin

Rated 4 / 5 stars July 4, 2011

Nice and just a tad Cliche

As a lot of your reviewers had said, it is a bit cliche. But being a fellow story teller, a lot of our ideas will always be cliche, so I'm not worried on that point.

A few notes. The bad guy, unless the lines down his cheek mean something, they make him look like a puppet, Maybe a bit more detail to his eyes, making them look evil will get your point across more that he is the bad guy. Make them pointier and his eyebrows like lightning bolts, red eyes or even yellow. The animations were a bit off putting, but I am no Da Vinci, so I can't talk. As far as the way the old man tells the story, in all reality that kid would not have stuck around to say I'm listening. But this is just a trailer and it's your story. Just put a little more creativity in what things are said to each of the characters. The voices were good. Just touch up the animations, enhance the background a bit please and for gods sake do something about that relic of a ship, lmao. Like I said, this is coming from a fellow story writer/teller. You have to capture the audience, and having a man come from nowhere, talk about a special team of special individuals without showing any unique talents other than hitting a rock is not as catching as you would hope. Now if he had hit the rock back, it had broken the kids nose, then he pulled off his glasses and looked the bullies dead in the eyes, without saying a word they ran scared, woulda been a bit more interesting. Just some pointers, don't change the story for me though, just a bit more detail in each of your char's.


RedHarvest responds:

he does hit the rock back and it hits the kid hahah -

but yes - in story telling its hard to do an idea that hasnt been done - - i saw somewhere that there were only lke 8 models of story telling that any successful film/book are based around

thanks for the review


OwennOwenn

Rated 4 / 5 stars June 28, 2011

Good Start

Nice pilot. I think the art could have been better, but it was well animated and left me thirsting for a sequel. Good job.