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Jun 14, 2011 | 6:41 AM EDT

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Author Comments

The main charter's name is Plot, is he a hero, a villain, or just misunderstood it all depends on how you decide to look at it.......



Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Good concept...

Unfortunately this isn't quite a new idea though, and the development is pretty boring... I would have liked if the character elaborated on his means and motives but he doesn't.... You have to realise that if he destroys the world, he'll kill himself too right? Not like every teen hasn't though of this before but without any serious thought going on he's just like any other depressed teen... which is boring. Read some Death Note to see what i'm talking about.
Some parts were good though, I did like that comment about painting the room in bright colours and the colourless world stuff. The fact that his name was Plot was a good pun. Besides the idea, the art wasn't so good either, so your story didn't come out so well. The music was repetitive and distracting since there wasn't any epic voice acting, which would have made a great addition to this.
Basically, there's a lot to improve on, but most of it lies within the concept of what is happening. Your art needs improvement, there needs to be more animation of what is actually happening around the character, his daily life and how he views it. Your character needs to put more thought into his actions, like how is he more normal than everyone else? How exactly does he plan to destroy the world? (Destroying a planet isn't as easy as sci-fi tells us). Why is the world corrupt? Why does his choice, style of thinking better than everyone else? And then, why would destroying the world make it better? These are real concepts and thoughts that a person in this situation would think about. And possibly most of all, you need a voice. We need to hear what your character sounds like. EMOTIONS ARE BETTER PORTRAYED THROUGH VOICES THAN TYPED WORDS! You certainly have to potential, but it takes more than that to bring out the meaning of the story. I think I've said enough.


Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Drafty house

It must be hella windy inside his bedroom, his hair gets blown everywhere.
Your teaser is boring and your character maniacal for the wrong reasons.

You have the talent to create something good, but this is just disapointing crap.
A kid with emo and murderous tendencies for no real reason... Be original, try
not to think too deep. This is shit. Seriously not funny, smart, or entertaining in
the least. There's effort, but looks unplanned and gay. Go home, write something
good, do it again.


Rated 4 / 5 stars

Serious Teen Angst

I can empathize with plot on a few things because I felt like that when I was a teen. Feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and the world was an ugly place thats out to get you. But to actually not care about the welfare of others and have ill intent for them is something I'm never going back to. It just lit too many fuses. So, I don't know how to feel for this character. In order to feel for this guy, we would need to see some vulnerable or human side to him.


Rated 4 / 5 stars


he doesn't want to save the world, so he isn't a treehugging pacifist (hero)
and he doesn't want to change it, so he not a non-loved crook (villain).

He wants to let everybody feel as miserable as he is and kill everybody (self hating emo who is about to cut himself) There is your anwser ;)

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