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Uploaded
Apr 26, 2011 | 12:37 AM EDT

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Author Comments

Hello,

The second chapter of my new comic, you can read the first one here:
http://www.newgrounds.com /portal/view/566272 (remove spaces)

If you like this you should also checkout "CoolJaw: Dreaming Darkly", a link to it can be found at the end of this issue.

Chapter three should be out by the beginning of June! (hopefully)

As always I respond to all reviews eventually.
If you would like to receive a P.M. when I release the next chapter add me to
you're favorite authors list.

Thanks!
- Celx

Reviews


CoopCoop

Rated 4 / 5 stars May 9, 2011

Nice writing

Hmm, the buildup is quite nice, but a little short, even for some sort of comic book, as you style them - I think that you could double the number of panels and not have it being too long. The size is not a problem, allowing for you to expand the piece, without adversely affecting it all.

The writing has never been a problem for all of your pieces and you're fully capable of taking this from strength to strength. I love the colour scheme that you've used and with the way that it's panned out, I can see myself getting into the tale. Perhaps a little bit more would be a nice way to take it, as opposed to her coming home, going almost straight to bed and not really engaging much, allowing us to get attached to the character.

I wouldn't have been swearing at her if I was a parent or guardian, but perhaps that's a dynamic there that needs to be explored in future episodes? You've certainly made him a sinister character though and I'm curious about him.

[Review Request Club]


Celx-Requin responds:

Yeah the story is significantly shorter/tighter than "Cooljaw", part of this is because the art takes longer to do, and the other part is because I feel the narrative is stronger.

Hopefully as the story unfolds people will be able to get a better feel for the characters, and the world they inhabit.

All I will say is by the end of the comic people will hate me, and I will be ostracized from my circle of friends should they ever read it...

Thanks,
- Celx


YumeSinYumeSin

Rated 5 / 5 stars May 8, 2011

Plot is really nice

I find Maple's story odd, but interesting. I like the fact it isn't too stereotypical and the story isn't driven to be either Alice in Wonderland or Twilight with her dreams.

The artwork is really unique to me, it speaks to me in a way. The only thing I'd want you to change is the text, it's hard to read(with glasses on, I'm as blind as a bat).

Good work, I look forward to watching/reading the rest =D

Review Request Club


Celx-Requin responds:

Cool I hope you do!

- Celx


SCTE3SCTE3

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars May 4, 2011

Still good so far

Also kind of funny how it covers five chapters here. Enjoyed the speech bubbles since I read them well. As for the extra fancy hand writing it took me a moment or two to read a few of the words but I was able to read them quite well anyways.

The storyline seems strange but good still. She gets a home in her new area and her father seems a bit mean but nice. Funny how that plant is called a cat too. Different name for things I suppose.

The drawings were nicely detailed. As usual I still enjoyed the minimal use of colors and simply sticking to shades and tints of one color to paint the characters and things in this series.

Overall, good work here.


Celx-Requin responds:

Working with color is difficult :(

Thanks,
- Celx


ToastedToastyToastToastedToastyToast

Rated 4 / 5 stars May 3, 2011

Okay I guess

Its pretty good, but hardly more than any other web-comic. I Dont think the flash format is really worth it, its a comic sliude show not a movie or game. I think it would get a far better response if submitted to the art portal. But thats just my opinion.

The art style was interesting and pretty good, I wont lie. The characters were interesting and the story was mildly compelling up to a certain point. The characters and the art was really well made and the options and music was pretty good and convenient. I really dont understand the cursor thing, when I go to play a game I usually find them annoying when they arent needed as crosshairs and whatnot so I dont know why you added them.

The story was good, the comic was good, the art was really good but I think that it should remain a comic not a flash slide show. 4/5 and 8/10

- The Review Request Club -


Celx-Requin responds:

I added the cursor to add to the aesthetic, you can remove it by clicking the "cursor tab" in the menu...

Thanks,
- Celx


HaggardHaggard

Rated 5 / 5 stars May 3, 2011

Story unfolds

The story slowly unfolds. I have told you this before, but I will happily tell it again: Your way of storytelling is very good. You just seem to find the right pace to tell your stories. Not too fast, but not too slow so that I get bored either. I always have a feeling of "I HAVE to know how this story continues!" if I read through the chapters.

In this chapter I liked the combination of the pink and the blue colours. They went along very well together and it created some very nice effects. I may have some interpretation of why some characters are in blue while others are in pink, but I'm not too sure yet, so I won't tell it, lol. :P

Anyway, some similarities to the story of Alice in Wonderland cannot be denied. The dream world, the cat... but as I happen to like Alice in Wonderland I am glad to see those similarities.

{ Review Request Club }


Celx-Requin responds:

New chapter should be out soon :3

There are some reasons behind the color decisions I made, but I think my work is better when people read it and intake the visual aesthetic on a subconscious level.

Thanks,
- Celx