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Uploaded
Mar 24, 2011 | 11:21 PM EDT

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Author Comments

This is my first Flash posted on NG. I just got my drawing tablet yesterday too so I hope it's not too bad of a movie. Lol.

I don't condone killing yourself, yes, there are situations where that that is the only way you can still leave the situation with your pride intact (The Samurai for example). But this is not a situation that a person should kill themselves. I made this movie in the hopes that someone who is feeling this way can look at this and put their hurt into the movie so that they know someone else has felt the same way they do.

There's always more fish in the sea. ;D

Reviews


sumovasumova

Rated 1 / 5 stars March 25, 2011

LOL, just LOL!

Wow. Deep down I knew this would make it. I didn't write a review in case people had the good sense to blam something that deserved it. But now it looks like I have the chance to throw my two cents in. YAY!

I want to start by saying not to take this review to seriously. You sounded a bit suicidy and I don't want blood on your hands because you can't take criticism. I am an honest and impartial judge which means I'm already a horrible human being. Soooo, don't sewercide.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, this cartoon was so bad I laughed my ass off. It's like King of the Hill found a dictionary and a thesaurus and did a quick scan for some words to use after a break up. Ya know, to sound poetry n' shit. (That last line was a lesson I took from you minus the word fuck.) The best way I could sum this up would be 'meaningful trailer park trash'.
Having said that, I'm not saying you can't do better. I'm not saying I could do better. I'm saying this one piece is crap on a stick.

The animation wasn't so bad. It could have been drawn better, but hey, no one starts out great. Given the mood of the cartoon and the tone of the narration, I thought the animation was pretty close. I doubt any part of it was symbolic in any way though. By symbolic I refer to the head of the man on the couch that was void of color. One could argue that it was symbolic of how empty he felt, but this isn't the case is it? Be honest now. If you can go fill the head in. It looks silly without color.

The writing is where most of the laughs came from. Specifically, "Her beauty could never be FUCKIN' MATCHED I TELL YOU WUT." That line cracks me up every time I hear it. It's like a hick stoner tried to be Shakespearean. I'm not saying that 'fuck' is a bad word, but you used it rather poorly. 'Fuck' did not need to be in nearly every sentence. If you use those words in the everyday more than called for, chances are you need a greater vocabulary. We use a complex language that displays several degrees of depth and strength. Use it to a greater and fuller extent. I say this because I tried being pseudo intelligent by using the words 'taint' and 'fathom'; just two examples. If you are going, I'm sure you weren't but 'if' you were, for the trailer park hurt, words such as 'taint' and 'fathom' are not appropriate for the scene. If you read some 'American Splendor' by Harvey Pekar you'd know what I mean. It was the quality of American Splendor without actually having splendor. (Ironic considering)

Overall, I don't feel sad or moved by this at all. (Granted I am a fairly desensitized person.) There are far better and far more artistic ways to convey this pain. Even just changing a few words would be better. I came up with this by mistake when trying to quote you: "She had a beauty that could never...." By changing these words around you put emphasis on the past and greater feeling that the relationship is indeed over. You might need a writer, but I suggest you start reading classic literature.

You can do worse than this, but you would have to want. You can only go up from here.

Good luck.


Sheldar responds:

Actually, if you would read my comments you'd know that I'm not suicidal. And no, I've been in a relationship for 2 and a half years homie. Lol.

This Flash was done quickly, like 2 hours, and I know there's a lot of flaws in it. The use of the word "fuck" is because I wanted to express the anger and emotion of the story. Yeah, I didn't have to use it as much but, really, I don't give a "fuck".

First Flash and I'm working on a better Flash. I guess I decided to upload this one because I felt like it was the best yet of what I have created. I mean, I've been working on Flash for like half a week. xD

But yeah man,
-Sheldar


xDarkxLinkxxDarkxLinkx

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars March 25, 2011

Okay,

Alright, so I get the message and all (that you shouldn't kill yourself over someone), and it's a pretty good start, considering it's your first flash. But, not that i'm against cussing, but did you have to keep saying 'fuck'? I mean, it's not a big deal, but it would've been the same without it. Just saying.



artrasoartraso

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars March 25, 2011

Umm Ok no comment

ummm



ts3namts3nam

Rated 4 / 5 stars March 25, 2011

love is making you suicidal

i get the message. u miss girl, u kill urself to pretty much put urself out of ur misery.


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BIG-GBIG-G

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars March 25, 2011

Okay I guess

I get the message your trying to send, don't kill yourself over some bitch which some idiots actually do, I'm with you on that. My only problem is you needlessly say fuck, now I'm not one of those people who say it's wrong because I use it all the time. You could have just not said fuck and it still would have the same impact.


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Sheldar responds:

To be honost man, I was actually thinking the same thing. ;p

Problem is I cuss like a sailor so I forget that I'm making something everyone is going to watch. Lol.

I'll keep note for future movies! ;]