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Team Doodle or Die
This is our Jam movie in which a little boy asks his favourite girl to the dance, only He is confronted by his fears of rejection.
not too bad
my lil brother is like that but the story line could be better but it pretty good
Good! Not Great.
+Great character design.
+Considering you did this in forty eight hours, the animation, story, and execution were all par.
-I'm sorry, just wasn't that funny. I probably have unrealistically high expectations for humor, but I didn't even crack a smile once.
-Not sure what kind of voice modification you used for the female voice, but it was distracting as hell.
-Ending was really stupid. I know a lot of newgrounds movies don't even have plots, much less endings, so I can't mark down much for this.
A note from the writer
A fair number of criticisms are against the story itself so I will address them.
Is the story dumb and simplistic, certainly. The goal of this was not the create a masterpiece of a story, it was to write a story that could be made into a one minute flash in under 48 hours. Since the original intent was to have the story at random, which means a team with very little flash experience could have drawn a story that could have been "too difficult" as many of the stories entered before mine were. I used a common theme and made it opened ended for the animator whoever that was to be (turns out I got a pretty good one).
If anyone cares, here is the original story I submitted. I do have some other samples of writing where I can go all Ernest Hemingway on your eyes.
What a dumb story.
Why go with this story? Tried to hard to come out looking dumb. I also love your author comment on naruhina433 and the army of commas you threw in there. It is also funny that you tell them to appreciate or, "respect," what you did. Then turn around and say most animations on Newgrounds are stick people falling off chairs and that you actually worked on yours. "Wearas," certainly no one else tries hard on their animations but you and your superior flash animation technique.
This was a sub par animation and a poor choice. The voices were a bit shaky but I found them about the only thing I enjoyed. I say with a little work and a better story choice you could do a better animation. Also having the ability to take criticism will take you far.
i like it short but any longer and it woulda been dragged out, the girls voice needs work but im not gonna criticize thanks for the minute waister
Bande annonce type aventure/SF influencé par Miyazaki Moebius et syd mead.
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