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Uploaded
Jan 8, 2011 | 11:27 AM EST

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Author Comments

MAN. ALOT has gone into this episode. Well, here's episode 3 of GMF. First, let me start off by saying that a few months back, I was kinda annoyed that Sonic Colors used my 5 generator idea. Then I thought....."I've gotta get them back for this....". That's when I decided to incorporate the Wisp powers into the series. I combined the items in Super Mario Galaxy 2, and The Wisp Powers in Sonic Colors. Special thx to God and Jesus for supporting me, not sniping me and keeping me alive to live out my dream as a spriter/animator. They're the most awesome beings EVER! Also thx to Tom(Fulp) for raising the upload limit.I was gonna totally rip the "Sonikku Wonz" joke from Budge007's hilarious Chao in Space: CvMvS series, but I decided not to. Also, Expirement Zero was technically created and designed by Kerlasia, so Kudos to her. Also, thx to Slick (Shadefalcon) for giving me some vital actionscript help. Sucks that DoD ended. I'm totally gonna use that as a joke in the series in the future lol! Also, I REALLY wanna thank that awesome guy NOBODY'S heard of. That's right! It's my buddy Jos! You all know him as Jazza, creator of the LARRY series. He's seriously an awesome guy, very supportive and always telling me to go for the gold. Wow, still 2,960 characters remaining? Well, I'm tired of typing so I guess I'll do the cliche thing and tell you to rate 5 and for blorp's sake REVIEW THE DANG VIDEO!! I value all of your input!! Please, enjoy the next episode of Grand Mario Fable!!

Sprite Creators:
-Nintendo

Sprite Rippers/Editors:

-A.J. Nitro
-Ragey
-Kerlasia
-Me!
-Cyber Wolf
-RawkHawk

Thank you guys for your hard work!

Reviews


lightningbrolightningbro

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Great but

This is the best one yet but there is 2 much reading
i preferd the moving text hitting the space is kind of lame
but that's the only flaw



EdenSwordblazerEdenSwordblazer

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Not bad but....

I'll be honest, the story is a nice one but it seems a bit forced in places. Kinda like you wrote yourself into a corner and had to struggle to work your way out of said corner. I have put together many a story and know what that is like. I'll touch on everything I can to help you get the story to flow a bit better.

Story Notes:
1) Avoid the cliche things. With the item thief, even if mario was a super trusting guy even he knows not to give the entire bag off goods for just infomation. Coins, yes and not all of them. But during the process of getting the coins out that would have led to more thieves to appear to help take the loot which would have justified the three baddies there. It made the ghost guy, can't remember his name, just seem like a desperate idiot.

2) Yoshi's back story was not important at this time. It is a nice thing to know, but a better way to have the story come out would be for the X-Nauts to see him and point out what he is but not in any details, would have raised the mystery of him a bit and given you something to show later on.

3) If the Yoshi already knew where they were going, why did he wait? If he knew they were going to the desert why was he not already there waiting on them. The 'tracking' egg he put on them would have been used to find them after he was already there, it is a big desert after all. So that would have saved some frames and such by reducing that scene some.

4) Build ups seemed too forced. Build suspense is a good way to keep the viewers riveted to their seats. But it needs to be smoother in how it is pulled off. More dramatic music or something to help set the pace of the suspense. Right at the end they go 'what is that?', gasp in shock, and blackness. A bit too fast there, slow it down some, give a hint as to what it is that was freaking out those three.

5) Same sounds repeat again and again. While I can understand having Mario respond in only voice clips need to change them up some more. Get more voice clips to use when you need to. Just for a change of pace.

Fight Notes:
I'm not going to comment on the DBZ style of fighting that is done, that is a personal choice by you to use that style.

1) Spinning over load. Way too much spin in the fights, tone that down some. Even with the capes mario and luigi were using just tone it down some.

2) Don't over charge: To keep the pace of the fight going don't sit there and spin or rear back for a punch for too long. It drags out the fight and the frames used to charge up could be better used else where. LIke when Luigi kicked that thing in the nads, why was he spining? No need to charge like that. A quick flash charge and nad kick would save you a number of frames there.

Here are a few tips I found that helps me when I write.

1) Scrip the lines and let friends of yours read them out loud. Hearing the lines out loud by someone other than you can help you find errors and 'forced' dialog and gives you a chance to smooth it out some.

2) Make Character Notes and reference them constantly. Even characters we haven't seen yet. Make sure everything the characters do is with in their References. Bandit there could be a new ally for Mario, something you can reference and fill out before we even see him. This helps you remember what you want each character to do and how to do it. And if a new idea comes in you can see how it will flow with the characters and how they will react to the new idea.

Good luck, can't wait to see more of what you can do.


People find this review helpful!

pikpik434pikpik434

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Very good

I don understand what everyone elses problem is I think your work is great.Sure its not perfect, and sure it seems like it copies some of the story line or game plot from other flashes and games. WHO CARES. great job Kepp up with the improvment and story :D


Kyuubiscarz8 responds:

Ummmmmmmm............thanks? ? /:/ Guess you're entitled to your opinion I guess.........stay tuned!


VGI101VGI101

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Good job

But focus on the quality of your sprites :D Like the toad sprites are sort of blurry.... good job with the animations and humor =D


Kyuubiscarz8 responds:

Thank you!


GoatesGoates

Rated 0 / 5 stars

Listen to others man...

If you can't take criticism, don't post your work online. I've browsed through the first few comments by spritefan and dragonsomething. These comments weren't rude at all. I'd have to say that they are fair and honest. But you disregard them and call the writers douchebags.

If you keep that kind of close-mind up, you won't improve at all. Now go back, read what they wrote, apologize and thank them for WASTING their time on someone like you.

They were helping YOU mister. Not feeding their ego.


Kyuubiscarz8 responds:

You're right.