Introducing the amazing, the patented, the uncanny... Critique O Matic!
Employ this clever machine to critique art on the go, and impress your subscriber friends with your victoriously verbose verbal verbage! Let them swoon at your feet as you deliver the most complicated and precise (and vague) critiques this website has ever seen; all while enjoying the time-saving comfort it has to offer.
Did we mention this system has over 2.3364x10^37 possible permutations? That's roughly about half as many atoms as there are in the goddamn universe. Even Doctor Who can't keep track of all that sweetness.
Disclaimer : Use this awesome AI at your own perilicious peril. Some (wonderful) critiques will undoubtedly sound a bit forced, especially if the person receiving them knows you have bad english skills. Worry not, however, because we already have plans to create an even better system - The Bad Critique O Matic X - a badass mother from the wrong side of the internets. Stay tuned!