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Dec 15, 2010 | 2:15 AM EST

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Full title: Mongolian Erectile Dysfunction - A Parody of the Tootsie Roll Pop Commercial

See the original commercial here *remove all spaces*

http://www.youtube.com/wa tch?v=2IA5Cv_5-g8

***If you saw this on the site earlier, it had some major bugs in it. Those bugs are removed and the flash is working! Sorry about that.***

About three months ago.. err.. ok how do I explain how this idea came up? Well, I was sitting on a couch at 4AM in the morning with my friend Alex talking about random flash cartoon ideas. We came up with some pretty ridiculous ideas like "The Party Dinosaur" and ideas like that had me questioning my sexuality... ANYWAY we gave up and decided to go to sleep. About ten minutes later, I woke Alex up and did a little improv skit about the tootsie roll pop commercial. Don't ask why I did an improv skit, I JUST DID OK. So then he threw in some more concepts like that the turtle should have "Mongolian Erectile Dysfunction" and after a few hours of writing this dark comedy on my computer, I voiced everything together in my dorm and BOOM.

Yes that's right, I did all the voice acting in my dorm. Don't ask why I voiced this in my dorm where everyone could hear me, I JUST DID OK. I sent it over to Sh0t-D0wn and after a handful of PMs back and forth it was 90% done. I took the animated movie, took out all the glitches, made a nice little pre-loader, edited some stuff, and abra kadabra the movie was done.

Well, I am so glad that this movie is done! It wouldn't have been possible without the amazing animating talents of Sh0t-d0wn. We have been working on this flash for the past month now and have finally gotten everything together. After crashing over 50 times, here is the final outcome!

Writing and Voicing by: FatKidWitAJetPak (Nick Sumbles)

http://FatKidWitAJetPak.n ewgrounds.com

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Animation by: Sh0t-D0wn

http://www.sh0t-d0wn.newg rounds.com

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Co-Writing and Extra Special Thanks To:

Alex Hall

***About to be co-authored***

Reviews


krool-kitty419krool-kitty419

Rated 5 / 5 stars December 20, 2010

Didnt really understand the vomiting until the end

Thank you for teaching me something i probably would've learned about the hard way :3



jltc008jltc008

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars December 19, 2010

"Bathe in my sweet nectar & you will live FOREVER"

The owl screaming got to be pretty repetitive and annoying; the rest of the dialogue was okay. The animation was the funniest part, in my opinion. 9/10.


People find this review helpful!

psychicpebblepsychicpebble

Rated 2 / 5 stars December 19, 2010

You Can Do Better

I'm going to be completely honest with you.

I know you didn't animate it, so this is basically two reviews. One for sh0t-d0wN and one for you.

As per sh0t, you did an excellent job. The animation and facial expression were completely on par and expressed the characters very nicely. There weren't really any backgrounds, which was okay because you were basing this off of the commercial which didn't have any backgrounds. The characters looked very similar to their commercial counterpart and the lip snych was wonderful.

Good as always.

Now, this part is for you Nick. I really hate to be so brutally honest, but I felt I should leave a review so you could stop next time and honestly think about it before you record or submit it. I understand the joke, and have actually had ideas of my own to do a parody of this commercial. I also understand the joke here, but I'm being honest, I didn't laugh one time. I didn't even crack a smile. I was sitting there waiting. The only times I did grin or enjoy it was due to the animation done by sh0t.

The writing dragged on, and there wasn't really a punch-line. A punch-line is a quick one liner or basically what the cartoon is building up to. It often times ends the joke, or in this case the movie. The only mild "punch-line" i could find was the owl slitting his throat at the end. It was not climactic at ALL. Just completely random penis and vomit jokes. I mean if you would have cut off with the kid interupting the owl masturbating THAT would have been better. It dragged on and I was waiting for something interesting to happen.

I wouldn't mind it dragging on if it wasn't so repetitive. That was the worst part about it. The jokes were literally repeating over and over. I felt like I watched the same movie about 10 times. The turtle throws up and is a pedophile. The owl screams and cusses. We get the idea. I understand what you said before about you only cussing "for the owls character", but that can't be your scape goat. It was plain bad script writing. Especially screaming. If you're going to do a screaming scene, at least go straight from complete calmness to absolute chaos and screaming. Don't keep shouting into the mic and cussing, it gets really and and stale after about 15 seconds.

Before you write another long parody or spoof, please, I ask you, don't let it be this receptive. Get straight to the punch line and don't do "build ups" to absolutely nothing. Shock humor didn't work at all in this case. And that's the issue with shock humor - if it fails, it fails extremely horribly. It seems the only jokes were masturbation, pedophilia, and random vomiting. Alone and used correctly these jokes can be somewhat humorous, but shock humor IS NOT meant to be dragged on for 11 minutes.

Please, don't think this review was out of anger or I'm being a prick. Take it as criticism. Your voice acting was good as always, just work on the script writing a little bit. I wish you the best of luck on future projects.


People find this review helpful!
FatKidWitAJetPak responds:

I really do appreciate the review man, and thanks for the comments. Everyone is entitles to their opinion, and you obviously looked more into the perspective of "This is just cursing and vomiting jokes", as many do. Those who look at it as a psychopathic montage really laugh at the whole idea of it.

The thing is, I wasn't trying to be organized with this. I wanted this to be, for the most part, a CRAZY cartoon with absurd humor and questioning dialogue. It isn't in everyones taste, of course, but I am very proud of what Sh0t-D0wn and I have put together.

The owl screams and curses because... well, he is on the path to insanity because this kid has come ot him CONSTANTLY and bothered him. The turtle throws up because he has mongolian erectile dysfunction. The movie "drags on" because I wanted to give the world a bit more depth, showing what the characters have to go through. I don't consider it "repetitive", I only consider it "perspective".

Thanks for the compliments on my voice acting and on Sh0t-D0wns amazing artistic talents. As for this being "shock humor" it was never intended as being one, but as being an in depth dark comedy cartoon.


Evil-DogEvil-Dog

Rated 5 / 5 stars December 19, 2010

Watched it twice!

It's pretty rare that I watch a flash cartoon and rewatch it later, but I did for this, so great job haha it's funny :D good acting! keep it up


People find this review helpful!
FatKidWitAJetPak responds:

Thanks for the compliments man!


PsychoRazorPsychoRazor

Rated 5 / 5 stars December 19, 2010

uh wow

It actually made me laugh pretty good if only through the sheer tenacity of the extremely distaistful comedy. All in all I give it a 10/10 because even though it really disgusted me at some points... I was actually entertained.