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It still needs some more music and sound effects.
List of Needs
The rating is low not because your flash is terrible. But it is a work in progress. Things that need improvement:
--Animation: lack of fluidity in spots, looks too 2-D, the motion is way too slow, characers lacking in expressiveness.
--Sound: needs a lot more sound effects, and would benefit from some voice acting, or voice sound effects with subtitles.
--Scripting: this is the strongest point so far. Some tweaking should be done to improve clarity of the story. Keep in mind that this is a story idea that others have done, so you need to find some element, be it humor or odd plot twists, to make it unique.
--Style: I don't see a need for major changes here. Your style is yours afer all. But certainly improving the skills to draw the characters from different angles would be an improvement.
Hey, i'm all up or criticism and all, but when you haven't made a flash yourself
I don't think you have any right to be a complete prick ok, huh OK!
You say it needs sound effects, if you would have read my fucking comment you would have noticed that I said that myself you prick so Fuck you, you and your cum gargling mother.
HBO starts targeting children!
What place? Earth!
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