Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
In this animation a guy named silvio Breaks into another guys house so the dude shoots silvio. I have wanted to do this animation for a long time but I finally learned how. Please don't be to hard on me with your harshness of criticizing.
Here's what you can do in the future to make this suck less.
Don't use the gradient Brush stroke, It makes it look terrible
The Lips don't mean anything except for "fap" "fap" which is what they're doing.
The lines overlap in a horrible way.
OVERUSE OF THE BRUSH TOOL! That's for more advanced users who can use it artistic and not use it for general outlines.
Better story would be nice (and who is silvio?)
The sound effects you CLEARLY downloaded of the web make no sense with the multiple gunshots.
You broke the 4th wall (Said something as if your character was doing some kind of webshow. very childish
You are way too young for blood in animations for pointless reasons and finnaly
Jack up that frame rate boy!
Everyone has to start from somthin'
Everyone is a beginner at one time or another, give the poor guy a break .. hopefully when I attempt to make something it doesn't get bashed as bad as this one..
I'll give you one for the effort, but other than that,
I read that you were not older than 2, but passed the 5th grade, and your voice doesn't seem like that at all
Like I read below, John is a very very very very very common name, by saying john, you can be talking about thousands of people. Using your user name would be best
There was no story at all. Who was Silvio, why were they there, and why did one guy shoot the other
You just cant have the peoples lips flapping like flapping flappers or it will look like a 9 year old made it.
Next time you make an animation, try using something more simple, like maybe even sprites
Really hope you get better, because more than one turd of the week awards is only for the kitty krew, or as I like to call them, The KKK.
Again, Hope you get better!
Things you need to work on
The pictures are terrible
The blood animation was bad
The length was really short
And the video had no storyplot whatsoever
A few tips
One - up the frame rate. It's choppy & clunky.
Two - Work on drawing skills - put a bit of time into the drawings, they look like they were done on Paint.
Three - Improve voices. There were no signs of emotion in any of the characters (although the Russian guy was pretty good). I have no idea what that 'song' and the start was.
Four - Story. I'm not saying it should be an epic, but at least try to make it make some sort of sense.
Five - Lip Sync. Making the mouths flap in a clearly repeated manner does not make the characters look like they're talking - it just looks weird.
Six - Put a 'play' button. To make it seem a little more professional & to stop it looping - you can download buttons/ preloaders from NG.
You get a little credit for showing signs of effort, but you have a lot to work on... but don't give up.
A short film about a park bench
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.