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Uploaded
Sep 26, 2010 | 8:09 AM EDT

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Author Comments

Just a lil bit of something i plan on finishing on this film just more like a teaser and all audio and help to those that deserve it

so please let me know what you all think since this is my first submission ok thanks ahead of time

Reviews


SurnSurn

Rated 2 / 5 stars September 27, 2010

Good For Your First, but not great.

Art:
Your art skills are fairly good for a beginner but still needs plenty of refining. The highlights (white marks) in the hair didn't really work since they seemed to be all over the place. On the other hand you seemed to do a real good job with the face itself. The face was nice and cartoony but even then the expression was mostly blank and didn't "match" the song.

Animation:
Minimal. The scrolling night sky at the beginning was pretty good (though the moon was a bit crude) but the singer didn't move enough and the camera was fixed on him for too long. One thing you have to keep in mind is that your audience can get tired of looking at the same thing for a prolonged period of time. While the main character did have multiple mouth frames (closed, open, "O" shape) he could have done with a wider range of expressions (that one "laughey" face just doesn't cut it) and some hand gestures.

Audio:
A trademarked song and a gunshot (kudos on tracking it down). Every thing seemed to sync up to the audio pretty well (perhaps the best thing you had going for this)

Misc:
The play button seems to be a bit tricky to hit. I usually put a square at full invisibility over the entire shape (in your case, the word play). This way the user doesn't have to land the cursor on a small activation point.

Overall It's a good start. Don't get discouraged and try to improve.

P.S.
If you'd like to try a different "loveish" song without copyright breathing down your neck I recommend this gem:
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/liste n/225601

If you're going to use cartoon characters again I'd recommend speeding it up about 45%


DnCFlash responds:

wow that is alot but ty now i know where i need to improve and thanks for the links i will try to do better and ty for a 4 on the review i wasnt even expecting that but ty i will try harder on my next attempt and sorry about the play button i didnt under stand the whole thing on how to make them but like 2 min ago found a great tutorial on how to do it so now i know