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Sep 5, 2010 | 12:22 AM EDT
  • Review Crew Pick September 8, 2010
  • Daily 2nd Place September 6, 2010

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Author Comments

Update| 2012| June 18|
Previous music replaced with royalty free tracks, new animated intro, retrospective document, and minor spelling errors fixed!

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After nearly a year in the making, it's finally complete...

Colin S Jaw is a man shifting in and out of a dream...
Missing teeth, and with only a little time left to live, he embarks on a journey to
discover the origins of a mysterious pair of "sharps" he was sent upon waking from a coma.

A journey somehow intertwined with two detectives, and a string of extremely violent and disturbing crimes, a man slowly mutilating himself, and a series of esoteric dreams that are all pieces of a horrifying puzzle.

In this tale of a man darkly dreaming...

Main Features:
- A animated intro, exclusive to this cut.
- Remastered versions of all 14 prior comics,
and the premier of the conclusion to the series.

Extras:
- Photo Gallery.
- New Interface.
- Spec Page.

Sincerely,
- Celx

P.S. Add me to your favorite authors list if you want a P.M. when I release other stuff!
And it would be grand if you could recommend this for the noir section!

Reviews


mindmaster123mindmaster123

Rated 5 / 5 stars September 5, 2010

perfect

an impressive art and a story that leaves you hooked to the screen is perfect and I loved both shocking somewhat repetitive in parts but the flow of history makes these little details are not taken into account.

Congratulations, you've done ARTS ;)


People find this review helpful!
Celx-Requin responds:

Thanks,
- Celx


sumovasumova

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars September 5, 2010

Well, I don't know what to say.

I did like it, but there were a lot of problems. By the way, this is my first time seeing this piece, which apparently were pieces, so I read this as a whole without prior knowledge. I say that because that is the way I'm judging it. If there were parts that were changed from the original or left out, let me know.

I think the things I liked is a short list so let's start there. The artwork was superbly done. The style fit quite well with the story. Often times, usually when people weren't smiling, it was hard to tell the expression of one's face. This sort of 'expressionless expression' worked itself into the overall mood nicely.

It was only at the end that I found out there was a track selection. I read all of it to the song "Evil Appetite", so it worked. The music gave a slight nervousness to this dark tale. It's dreary, lingering gave the entire work a gradually dismal sadness. It was as if all the bloodshed was but the result of the characters' self-inflicted pain. The track allowed me to feel as though I were in the story, but I was only watching the events unfold.

Now I want to say that this is original. But I was mulling it over and it seems you used some cliches and gave it a dark slant. I've only read it once so far. Maybe reading it again will reveal something. Regardless, there were little one liners here and there that I didn't like. '... all hell broke loose.' 'Will you wait for me? Always.' That kind of thing. I'm not saying it was awful, but the dialogue could use some tweaking.
Sometimes it was confusing figuring out the dialogue. Like in the beginning after Colin woke up, and asked "What the fuck happened to me?". 30 years is a long time. Before that point there was no way to tell how old he was. What if he were about 40 yo at that point. A ten year old usually wouldn't wake up after so long and say "What the fuck....".
Along the same line, it was also hard to read. Have you ever read a comic book? Usually speech bubbles will go in order from top to bottom and left to right. Also, if someone ends there dialogue with an ellipsis, the other characters involved in the conversation will say something in ANOTHER speech bubble. So where you have only two bubbles, you should have four, five or six. For example, when Creva and Simon are talking, after Creva reveals the connection between the victims there could be four bubbles there. Normally, you would end a sentence with the proper punctuation then make a new speech bubble. Ending sentences the ellipses and jumping back and forth between bubbles was distracting from the story.
While on the subject of writing, learn how to edit before you post something. It's not that you can't spell or that you have a poor vocabulary, but there's no excuse for spelling the word 'throat' 't-h-r-o-u-g-h-t' as you did early on. There are several grammar problems too. There are many places where words were missing. An 'of' should have been somewhere. An 'is' was missing. You did not use the correct article (a, an) before a word. However, I can tell that this was a work in progress. Where you did make mistakes, they were fixed later on. Yes, you spelled 'throat' correctly, just in later pages. I suggest taking it down, editing it thoroughly, then putting it back up.
Last thing writing wise, I liked the story but you goofed up. Don't feel too bad about it though. The people who took Dicken's weekly articles and made the book Oliver Twist did the same thing. You wrote something that was meant to be read separately and smashed it all together. While I was reading the piece, the stories didn't really fit together. But taken apart, as they were written, I could see where different elements would have been introduced rather than fit into the whole that I read. So in the future, don't do that.
Just a brief note. I liked the animation, but even with names, it was really hard for me to tell who was who. In fact, I still don't know who Bateman is. Make sure that if you are going to give recurring characters names, you do it early on. I had to reread some to find out who Nate was.


Celx-Requin responds:

Bateman is a member of the N.Y. press, who buys pictures of murders from Simon.
Whilst this is never said directly, I thought the nature of their relationship was clearly implied when Nate confronts Simon in "T.T. II"...

Anyway I agree with some of what you said,
Thanks for the detailed review!
- Celx


HatakiHitaruHatakiHitaru

Rated 5 / 5 stars September 5, 2010

Amazing

i read through it twice to make sure i didnt miss anything,and it was equally amazing both times


People find this review helpful!
Celx-Requin responds:

Upon the second reading did you get a chance to watch it with the "Real Solution" track?

Thanks,
- Celx


GonzossmGonzossm

Rated 5 / 5 stars September 5, 2010

:U unique

You used a very similair name for a project I had in store for the future :| oh well XD If I ever do it please do not hate me for it XC

on to the review XD
The story was nice, the Art could use some more work, but its stylized very nice :) gives a creepy vibe with the sketchy way its done, and how little use of color you have. The music assists with the "creepy" tone to it all. You can tell you put alot of work into this and it shows :) Good job.


People find this review helpful!
Celx-Requin responds:

Wow a review from you,
what an honor!

No I won't hate man, I don't believe titles and stuff belong to people,
that said I do believe that work shouldn't be stolen and passed off as someone's own,
or without giving proper credit...

I'm not saying you would do that, I'm just going off on a tangent,
I better stop or I'll run my mouth off... Too late

Thanks again!
Sincerely,
- Celx


DamonandSkyDamonandSky

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars September 5, 2010

Great, but too repetitive.

That was remarkable work. The grammar needed some work and the story was alittle too...ehh, well, it just disappointed me somewhat. I was expecting something less repetitive... The art style fit the story well and the music helped captivate the moment even further and the initial plot was different and unique (well, as far as unique goes...originality does not exsist in my opinion.)

Great Job! 7/10


Celx-Requin responds:

My 10 streak NOOOOO...

I kid you, I totally understand the grammar thing, but keep in mind some of those spelling mistakes were done on purpose. To be more specific when there were capitals when there weren't supposed to be that was done on purpose, so to blend in with the erratic art style.

What's not supposed to happen though is words are misspelt...
And although I did my best to catch these, since all the words were hand drawn it's a little harder to go back and find them manually.

I digress,
Thank you for the review!

Sincerely,
- Celx