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Yeah...I may not be the best writer but this shows some stuff that you need to do...hope you learn something
it was okay... i guess.
Not very helpful.
I can see you put a tiny bit of effort into making this fit the theme of "reading a story", but I think you should make it a lot longer and make the words fit on the pages.
Your information is very, very wrong.
First, that is a terrible and inflexible template for writing stories. Not only is it the perfect way to design a flat protagonist with no personality, it assumes that the story will not take place within the timeframe of greater than a year, and is hung up on easily changeable details like clothing and employment status.
The example of story you give is also horrendous. The plot is so flimsy that it breaks instantly, with the protagonist calling 911 and ending the entire scheme instantly. At that point, the protagonist doesn't need to exist at all.
Finally, you do not teach about other important elements of the story, namely the rising action which slowly builds up to the climax, and the falling action, which quickly resolves the aftermath.
Most importantly, the CLIMAX should not come in the MIDDLE of the story. The climax is where the main conflict, which the story has built up to, must be resolved. If you resolve the climax in the middle of the story, the second half of the story is nothing but filler.
And for chrissakes, use a spellchecker.
sorry dude :(
Well you get an 'A' for Affort, at least. The climax of a story traditionally happens at the END of the story, as you want the middle to be slowly progressing chain of events (on a graph, it would be a gradually upwards sloping line) and the climax would be the key event which finally wraps up all of those loose ends and ends the journey of the tale in a satisfying manner. I'll give you points, 'cause I'm sure you had an honest intent with this, but you need to put some more effort in your work.
ok sure...sorry i was told that the middle was the climax
What crazy contraption will this guy come up with next?
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