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Uploaded
Aug 21, 2010 | 9:34 PM EDT

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Author Comments

This is a longer one guys... Approximately 6 1/2 minutes. Oh yeah. Music was also done by me. Might upload it to the portal at some point.

Please leave a review guys! I always respond to reviews (that are constructive).

What's more it's unfinished. So now you know what you don't have to point out. Anyway I hope you enjoy the script for what it's worth.

I started this project the spring semester of my senior year in high school. I quickly realized that the screenplay I wrote was overwhelmingly too tough to tackle on my own in the span of a few months. So it's now, two years later that I've decided to slap what I did up to the point of my graduation together and put it on here as an unfinished (But still definitely worth a look) movie. I found the whole thing, split into five separate flash files. Hopefully though you'll enjoy this and perhaps it will whet your appetite for my upcoming flash (Same quality, 100% more completion) "The Turtle and the Wolf".

Reviews


CoopCoop

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars August 30, 2010

Good, but needs work

I love the joke that you used at the end - straight out of Malachy's BBS Signature ;)

Still, what we have here is a great concept, but it was really lacking in places and as a result, I marked it down. You cut corners with the animation - when Mr. Landis enters the room and double takes the fat kid that ate the cake. You ran this loop a few times over and it really ruined the effect for me, personally. The same could be said for the fact that the characters stopped lip-synch about a tenth of the way through the piece. If you're not going to lip-sync, then don't, but equally, don't do a whole piece, where they do some and not for the rest. If you're trying to say that they are thinking, have them look thoughtful - eyes towards the ceiling, stroke their chin, or something like that.

Perhaps, you would have had more of a reaction from the class, that looked a little wooden, as if you're just sitting them in the background for filler material - they wouldn't sit perfectly still in real life, so why have them do that here.

Finally, we come to the audio - it needs to be better quality - move slightly further from the mic an see what you can do. Failing that, go to the Audio Forum and search for the voice actors wanted thread, where you can get some specialists in for it.

You're getting there, but aren't quite home yet.

[Review Request Club]



HaggardHaggard

Rated 4 / 5 stars August 29, 2010

Unfinished, but good

Quite an interesting project you have here. There still is a lot of work to do to iron out all the little flaws this movie still has, but I think the vast majority of work is already done and you have created a movie that is worth to be watched.

The drawings are sometimes pretty rough, but overall the graphics are decent. Especially the backgrounds look pretty good most of the time.

What bothered me most was that sometimes the characters didn't move their mouthes even though they spoke and I don't mean the inner monologue scene during the middle of the movie. I know people don't move their lips during an inner monologue. But for example when the teacher was in front of his class, shortly before he announced he had to leave for a short while, his lips didn't move at all even though he was adressing the students.

I also noticed you used the same animation cycle for the teacher quite a lot during the end of the movie (when the teacher comes back he has this cycle I'm talking about and then again during this weird "asylum scene"), which doesn't look too good, in my opinion.

Last but not least, the sound quality is something you have to work on. There are a lot of static noises during the voice acting. This is really painful to listen to and it's quite a pity as the voice acting is done pretty good apart from that little sound problem.

In conclusion, the movie still looks very rough and unfinished, but I think what you have created so far is pretty good and looks quite promising. Here's me hoping you'll finish this some day. :)

{ Review Request Club }


People find this review helpful!
EKublai responds:

Thanks for the review. Your point about lip-syncing is especially valuable because I didn't realize how much having no lip sync would throw you off as a viewer


Celx-RequinCelx-Requin

Rated 3 / 5 stars August 24, 2010

Interesting...

Hello,

Instead of dissecting the story, I think I'm more interested in critiquing your art and animation style.

Your drawings are very rough, but the shading you use gives them a creepy refined feel, as if they were composed by a mentally retarded serial killer or something. I mean that as a compliment.

In a sense they are somewhat similar to the artwork of Frank Sudol, who released a quark based cartoon called "city of rott", or perhaps even similar to the flash work of everyones favorite pretentious cock David Lynch. I would however spend a little more time on the backgrounds, they seems a little bland right now.

I digress the animation was solid, you made a decent use of the tween feature,
and your frame by frame segments show some skill. There is some room for improvement such as more organic movements, and complex poses.

I also like the fact your attempting to tell a larger story, although I thought it was a little tedious at parts to be honest.

Overall it's not a bad film, and after reviewing a bunch of poorly made flash films this was a little refreshing.

Sincerely,
- Celx
~Review Request Club~



ThePigeonMasterThePigeonMaster

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars August 23, 2010

Lazy animation

The plot was pretty random and weird, but it made me chuckle at some parts because of its randomness. But please, put more effort in the animation of your characters, specially in lip-sync because your characters didn't move their mouths at all!
Sorry to say it, but the flash ended to bore me because I felt it was very slow, and you used the same movieclip of the teacher moving many times.
At least the artwork was nicely done and the voiceacting too.
Conclusion: Nice art but lazy flash. Put more effort in the next time.
5/10
3/5

Voting Details:
Voting Power: 8.13
Voter Number: 281
Voted 3: 3.20 / 5.00 --> 3.20 / 5.00 (- 0.0025)

[Review Request Club]

***TPM***



itsChrisLifeitsChrisLife

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars August 22, 2010

really?...

Casper's monster school?
5/10 because the characters were ugly and the mouths didnt move most of the times...and the 5 is because of the good art