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Jun 7, 2010 | 9:16 PM EDT
  • Daily 4th Place June 9, 2010

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Author Comments

Hi Everybody!

Warning!! This is Part 2. Use this address for Part 1: http://www.newgrounds.com /portal/view/538520

This is a draft of the first episode of a series I'm developing. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Based on your feedback, I plan to make more episodes. Also, I'm looking for collaborators, so if you're interested, send me an email at larkinheather@gmail.com

Heather

Reviews


puppydog54321puppydog54321

Rated 5 / 5 stars June 9, 2010

AWSOME!!!!!

now this is wat i call good!


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larkinheather responds:

thanks again! :D


DashaquanDashaquan

Rated 5 / 5 stars June 9, 2010

Voice actors

Do u need voice actors i'd be glad to feel in for a voice pm me if u want me to be one.


larkinheather responds:

Thanks Dashaquan! Yay! Thanks for offering! When I get organized, I'll contact you!


reikibareikiba

Rated 5 / 5 stars June 8, 2010

Wow

You're incredibly good. With animation and story. You definitely need to finish this and make more.


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larkinheather responds:

Thanks again rekiba!


NukeriderNukerider

Rated 5 / 5 stars June 8, 2010

goodness.....

after watching the first and this one looks like you have a good story up your sleave. the animation at the start of the first is fernominal, if you do finnish this i would not be supprised if it got front page. seriously get some help, some sound, and this done, your looking at a shiny medal from me! still giveing it 5 though.
Good luck!


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larkinheather responds:

Thanks a lot! :D I'm working on it!! In case you're interested, I wrote about my plans here: http://larkinheather.newgrounds.com/n ews/post/481563. Hopefully, I'll have some even better stuff soon!!


zeedoxzeedox

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars June 8, 2010

9/10 since it doesnt have cool art like part 1!

After watching this second part, not only am I wanting to see the finished product but now I want to know what happens in episode 2.

The homo sapiens put the environment and time into perspective, which made your story seem a lot more interesting to me. I now understand why the main character looks fat and primitive, which contrasts well with the homo sapiens.

godyousuck raises a pretty good point about the fight scene, however I feel the characters strength is fine taking into consideration an adrenaline rush. The homo sapien who tries to hit her with the spear was a good way of stating the very sudden outburst. I agree with godyousuck's suggestion of having the group subdue her but that was because I found the really long pole thing a bit odd. Even though she was distracted, it felt unusual that she'd ignore the people behind her and keep her back directly facing them, especially for a long enough time for them to do the pole knocking out thing.


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larkinheather responds:

hey again! Yah, the end scene needs work. Thanks for telling me.

Also, I wanted to make the two species different, but not too different. That was tricky. So one is stocky and small (and very strong), and humans are taller, skinnier.