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Uploaded
May 16, 2010 | 10:55 AM EDT

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Author Comments

This is just a simple animation I made. Feedback, especilly negetive constructive critisim welcome as I am new with this system.

Reviews


PhobotechPhobotech

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Don't feel so down about your first flash.

Like my English 1301 professor taught from the beginning, you can't be too hard on yourself on your early work...you just can't. "Just shit out a shitty first draft" is what he always said. Then once we go back and refine it, it won't be as shitty.

On that same breath, though, this could use some work. Not to be too harsh, of course, but hey, you're just starting out.

-Art is a practice, so I'm going to just throw this out there. Draw all the goddamn time. It doesn't matter if you think it looks good or not, literally just fill up sketchbooks with the intention of just drawing. I am SO serious on this, listen to me, do it.

In attempts to make tires look less like amorphous blobs.
Attempting to draw the human figure so you're more comfortable drawing them in more dynamic angles.
Keeping mindful of geometric proportions...or really proportions in general.
Y'know...shit like that. If it exists, have a crack at drawing it. In time, you will notice your own improvements and feel pretty accomplished about it. Then proceed to pat yourself on the back and NEVER stop if you intend to make a career out of this.

It won't end with the drawing; animation is a practice too...and holy shit is it tough work. It's tedious, laborious, and often times overwhelming. Keep in mind how your art can help improve your animation.

Notice the tires didn't seem to roll quite right because they weren't perfectly round. Notice that the scenery with the car rolling along (as it faded to black) tweened away while the car stayed stationary.

Notice that as that guy is standing there that two different frames on the cape don't make a very convincing fabric-against-the-wind effect...also be mindful of spelling; I think you used "affect" when you meant "effect" ...I could be wrong on that one.

Keep in mind on what was intentional design and unintentional mistakes. Little details like the shape of the spotlight where the angle of light would come from, and the angle that you drew it is slightly down...or if you meant that to be the angle to clearly establish that in the shape of the spot-light. Giving the audience members more detail than just blotches of colors and shapes. Having the bottle drip into the mouth and not behind the nose and above the mouth...

...You CANNOT go crazy with the details...everything you look back at and you have a problem with the flash has it's merit, and only you can really do something about it. If you have doubts in how something looks, pull in a few friends or family on their opinions to alleviate or confirm your doubts; I do this all the time, actually.

But what it really comes down to is it's ALL a practice, and the only way you're going to get better at it is if you just keep doing it. As stated before, the musical loop got annoying pretty quickly, and the pace...whoo...the pace was pretty difficult to sit through. It took WAAAAY too long for way too little.

Again, again, again...no biggie. This is your first go at it. I am so, fatally serious when I say you got to, you absolutely must not give up and keep practicing.


Forteto responds:

Thanks for the reveiw. I do allot of doodling, and had a week to put this together for a friend. My current project is much better.... hehehehh


KaggelosKaggelos

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Drunk Driving STOP

The message you want to pass is correct , but the animation is too slow and the song is kinda annoying. Anyway Drunk Driving is lethal to drivers! Please if you don't respect your lives , at least respect the lives' of others



NNONNNON

Rated 0 / 5 stars

You wanted some criticism

Here it is. This is not even an animation it is kinda looks like a slideshow, and this awful music tearing my brain apart.


Forteto responds:

Constructive critisism. So, next time ill fix music.


PixelestedPixelested

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Great Information, yet some parts to manage.

I am able to see you using this for a persuasion of some sort, yet you may need to change the loop effect on the movie, as the music also loops over from the ending to the start, making it sound a little weird.

Also, the music does need some partial work on - I can tell you're using GarageBand, not bad. Still, from about 5-10 seconds, you may need to mix it up with more loops to make a more feasible effect for your audience.

Aside from that, I like the aspect you share on this. Just take heed to this.


Forteto responds:

Thanks. In all honesty, I did the music in about.... 30 seconds. Yeah, that seems about right.


PhantomMaskPhantomMask

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Might need work

The animation was not the best, the repeating music started to get to me, the voices were too quiet, and once I went over the movie once, it overlaped with the same music. Other than that, it was just ok.


Forteto responds:

I don't do allot of sound effects, but as I have recived allot of complaints on this ill fix it in the next one.