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Uploaded
May 9, 2010 | 8:04 PM EDT

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Author Comments

Yeah it's me again. I've been working on this idea for a little over a year now and I'm happy to finally release it. It's the first entry of a new origional dark comedy series(FYI you might want to turn your volume up a notch or two). Enjoy!

Reviews


SeankielySeankiely

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars May 10, 2010

ow yea

i reeeeely reely enjoyed that ther flash sir and i can see the effort put in the only thing i think needs improving straight away is the sound and then u will be set ;)


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RaptorVenom responds:

Thanx dude I appreciate that. I'll try harder next time for the sound but some characters were hard to make loud without screwing with the audio.


WohlgamuthWohlgamuth

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars May 9, 2010

So I can't get lung cancer.

Can't beat that logic haha



snarebwssnarebws

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars May 9, 2010

nice man

ur twisted and im loving it! haha



LimitedLimited

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars May 9, 2010

It's a start.

Okay here's my input.

Firstly, the voice acting is weak and the quality was so bad it actually made me want to stop watching. If that had been improved on it would have been a much more enjoyable little animation, the writing was actually quite good, and I chuckled at a few of the jokes. I would structure it more though, it started to feel repetitive and boring by the end.

Spend more time on your artwork and animation, no matter how good the jokes are, watching mouths move in an otherwise mostly still picture is incredibly tedious. Make the characters more detailed and have them move around a bit, interact with the environment or move from area to area.

Overall I'd have to say you have the potential to be great at this, but spend a lot more time learning how to do it, studying successful flash movies and preparing to make your own, redraft your ideas again and again and have people read them until you're completely satisfied and do the same with artwork and animation. The more time you spend on it, the better it will be.


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