Jessica Anne Churney-Strickland is the Horsebitch, a deadly mercenary formerly employed by the sinister Tennipples Industries. She was once the leader of the dreaded Horsebitch Cavalry, the aptly named Mr. Dr. Prof. Steeley Tennipples's elite band of equestrian femmes fatales!

For years, Horsebitch followed Cyberen Broyoshi - the bumbling antihero of the popular, "edutaining" animated series, The Cyberen Sillies - waiting for a moment to strike and kidnap poor Cyberen so that his body could be harvested into a doomsday device for the maniacal Prof. Tennipples.

Along the way, however, something unexpected happened: Horsebitch fell in love with Cyberen! She was then forced to play the role of a voluptuous double-agent, constantly staying one gallop ahead of both Cyberen and her insidiously evil employer, with the help of Susie, her wise-cracking horse!

After Cyberen's final showdown with Tennipples, the twisted old man was killed, raising the question: What has become of Horsebitch and her cavalry? What wacky situations will they get into adapting to normal, everyday life?

This is their story...

Episode 10: Horsebitches, Get Money!

Princess Laucherella here! I hope you're ready for a Horsebitchin' good time 'cause the Horsebitch Hijinks are back with another exciting edition!

Horsebitch is going on her weekly ride to the local 711 to buy lottery tickets and urine soaked cigarettes from a rather dodgy Indian fellow who never checks her ID. After a rather humorous scene where Horsebitch has trouble understanding his funny accent, she rides home to share her spoils with the Horsebitch Cavalry.

If you haven't already guessed, that lucky Horsebitch got a winning ticket! Wowie-zowie, Newgrounds!

What would a drug-addicted, promiscuous, horse-obsessed 15-year-old girl and her friends buy with seven million dollars? Invest it wisely, of course! You guessed it, folks! Today's episode is also a very special lesson in how young folks like YOU can learn to save money, and build yourself a brighter future!

With the help of a HILARIOUSLY jewish banker Mordecai Moneystein, Horsebitch (and YOU, my lovelies) will learn all about how to spend money!

Unfortunately, all is not well in Santa Fe, New Mexico. When Jhonen Vasquez (who hasn't earned any money in the last 10 years or so) learns of Horsebitch's financial gains, he hatches a sinister plot with the bumbling Cyberen Broyoshi to steal Horsebitch's riches for themselves!

Will their corrupt caper be a success, or will Mordecai Moneystein see through their amusingly artless attempts? WATCH AND FIND OUT!

Remember that I love you, and remember that Jewish people can ALWAYS help you with money!

Love,

Princess Laucherella