Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
Well im really happy to finally submit this movie i work alot on it an finally i finish it .
Its about "La morte" (The dead) a tragical story by Guy de maupassant (1887) in resume its this question. -WHAT ARE YOU CAPABLE TO DO WHEN YOU LOOSE SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU?
DETAILS CAN FIND IN THE MENU EXTRAS.
que ase fichi alta animacion loco muy buena historia
Hm, sorry for the low score...
You said you wanted to know if you should keep trying and I think yes you should, but you need to keep practicing. I feel that you have the talent to keep improving so don't give up.
~ Animation ~
There was some good animation and some bad animation. For example I thought the walk cycle was pretty good. As a negative example you really had a lack of the small animations that could have made it better such as having the eyes animated and the mouth animated. Small things like this could have really helped the submission out in my opinion.
~ Graphics ~
The drawings were alright in some parts, but in other they weren't so great. The text was too small and the book didn't look too great. The characters were drawn alright, but towards the end of the movie it got very sloppy. The drawings really needed some more detail as well. Right now I would say it isn't very good, but with some practice and time it could be decent.
~ Story/Content ~
Something you have to think about is the different speeds in which people read. The first book entry was too short for me too read, but the second was too long and I got bored waiting. Some others were too slow, too fast, and yet some were just good enough. Having the person be able to click to go on or push a button to go on when they are done reading.
Another thing that I didn't like was how small the font was and somebody with bad eyes wouldn't be able to read what you had in the first place. You should also make your i's capital when you are using them as a word.
It seems like English isn't your first language, but if it is then use proper sentence structure please. If it isn't then it was pretty good for it not being your first language. Another thing that I couldn't read was the scratches on the gravestones. They were pretty hard to read as they were sloppy.
Lastly, I was kind of confused on what was going on. Perhaps it's because it was very hard to read and I couldn't get all of it, but I also think that the flash doesn't really explain what's going on very well and this could be more clear.
~ Audio ~
The music that you used was really good. I think that you could have used more sound effects. When your character was outside you should have had some owls or other creepy outside noises like that. When the dead people wrote on the grave stones you should have had a scratchy sound as well. Small sounds like this could have helped the submission out.
~ Overall ~
A button to switch through the text, better graphics, better animation, more details, and a better explanation of what is going on could have really helped this submission out a lot. Keep working and someday I'm sure your skills will have improved a lot.
I really apreciate your review i got a lot excited when you wrote it and i going to do all what you say you are absolutely right about the drawing and the animation and of course about the story but i didn't add any sound effect becuse i wanted to do an animation without sounds just a song to describe i didn't see that the story was bored and it was ovbius why.I really like your review and if you say i can improve well i going to try. I THANK YOU A LOT FOR THIS you have be honest and not so rough because when i see all the reviews and watch again the movie i was dessapointed of what i done but if you say i should practice then i will do it right now.
BTW: yes i dont speak a good english because i born in Argentina and i speak spanish and in some words i got to use the translator so i see my mistake there thanks for show me.
The animation was ok
It's just that in this kind of flash, where words are important, a bad translation can ruin it for the viewer. I'm only saying that it might help in the future to ask for help with translations.
I've always loved flashes like this. Keep up the good work mate.
A short film about a park bench
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.