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Credits & Info

Uploaded
Nov 17, 2009 | 6:04 PM EST

Author Comments

This is my first claymation on Newgrounds. I know most reviews will probably be negative, since it's a first. But at least try to give me some constructive criticism. I do intend on making more and, if you actually try to help me, my next one might not be so bad.

Reviews


CoopCoop

Rated 3 / 5 stars November 17, 2009

Good comedy

Well, that's a piece of claymation that actually grabbed my attention. I've got to say that you can do better with it, but for a first try, you're onto something here!

Perhaps more work could be done with the lip-synching and making sure that the camera stays in the same place for every shot in a scene - something that's particularly prevailent early on, but is seems to clear up towards the end.

I'd suggest that for research purposes, you look up Knox - he was the best stop motion animator in the NG community back in '04 and '05, but he's starting to make a comeback. Notice how he gets away without using lip sync, by making hcaracters without mouths - you could do similar, but perhaps have mounted mouths that get stuck in place with pieces of cocktail sticks, or something, just to add a dab of finesse to the project.

The writing is good stuff and I'd perhaps suggest that you extend it slightly, by getting the two pink dudes to hop into a toy car, or something, so that they can go and get the materials needed, rather than just having a cut-scene which doesn't really involve them moving much and a calculator suddenly appearing, for example.

So at the end of the day, it's a little rough around the edges, but it's a good start. Smooth animation comes with practice. If the models start to disintegrate, perhaps stick them in the fridge for a while and wash your hands, so that there is less oil on them, which makes the clay work easier - you don't need that.

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People find this review helpful!

EASTBEASTEASTBEAST

Rated 4 / 5 stars November 17, 2009

That was actually pretty funny

make the transitions a little better



ohbombuhohbombuh

Rated 4 / 5 stars November 17, 2009

Healthy Start

I didn't like Jefferey's voice or the stapler part, but it was a decent length, it was reasonably entertaining, and it had a good flow.



YaseoYaseo

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars November 17, 2009

Well..

Funny lol
but you should work on smoother animation.