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Uploaded
Nov 15, 2009 | 5:14 PM EST
  • Daily 4th Place November 16, 2009

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Author Comments

Whew. So, after months of character design, recording, animating, and flat-out procrastinating, I've finally managed to crank out this Goddamned cartoon. I don't know how well this is going to be received, but I personally think that it's pretty funny, I put a lot of effort into it, and I had a lot of fun making it. This is, as the title cunningly hints at, the first episode of a series I'm putting together. The way I'm writing this series, however, is so that each episode has a completely different tone as all the other episodes. I'm doing this partly as an experiment, and partly just to keep myself from getting bored with the series. Now, one other thing you should know is that there are actually two versions of this animation. In addition to the color version you see here, I also made a version where every color is red (in kind of a tribute/rip-off of Michael Swain's Mastermind series.) I personally prefer this version, as it's much more stylized then the regular color pallet, but nobody I show it too actually likes it, so I decided to hedge my bets and upload it on YouTube. You can find it here: (http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=t8XLqeDt0OU) (You'll have to remove the space in the middle of the URL, of course.) So, watch both versions, and tell me in the comments which one you think is the best. Whichever style gets the most votes is the one that I'll use for the rest of the episodes.
Alright, so that's pretty much all I have to say about this.
Enjoy!
-Anthony

EDIT: Holy crap holy crap holy crap I got daily fourth place! Thanks for all the great reviews on this, I didn't respond to all of them, but I have read them all, and thanks to Tom or whoever decides which submissions get frontpaged. :D

Reviews


RussianGiantRussianGiant

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars November 17, 2009

credits were the best part

the jokes are going along too slowly to be funny. try to make the jokes go along more quickly and smoothly. that is the only thing i dont like.



PropheticRavenPropheticRaven

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars November 17, 2009

Awesome job! but...

There needs to be more work on diction. Especially in the first half of the animation (with the newscasters, in particular Dash Sledboat). Also you could slow the pacing for the newscasters as well.
Great choice of music, I especially liked the use of "Brand New Day". I am a big fan of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog.
I'd like to see more!



fatal-fartfatal-fart

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars November 17, 2009

the voices sound like pilots

need better voice acting facial expressions and the tone of their voice was way off


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FlyeFlye

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars November 17, 2009

Few things

Okay, it wasn't bad, and I'm no flash artist, so, even though I think my advice is worth considering, be warned.

1. Voice acting; could have been worse, but it was pretty monotone and everything was done by you. I understand that it may be hard to get voice actors, but I think that if you're going to do it by yourself, you should probably step up your game to the point where you can vocalize at LEAST two distinct voices, because the voices of every character were exactly alike. And I don't think it'd hurt to get a new microphone.

2. Dialogue; again, wasn't too bad, pretty funny at some points, even though most of it wasn't very original, I liked it. Edit your dialogue though, you said "um" at least once for every three subtitles, I'm not even exaggerating that much. Some of it could have been worded better too, and since it seems like you put a lot of effort into this flash, I think it would have been worth it to try and improve the wording a fair bit in those "iffy" parts.

3. Animation/Drawing; Like I said, I'm no flash artist, much less an artist at all, but some drawings could be improved, but I think this is more of a "comes with experience." And with animation, was better than anything I could ever do, but it wouldn't hurt to add some (more? wasn't positive if you had much) secondary animations (animations occurring along with the main animation, i.e. you could have one sportscaster twiddling his thumbs, or even moving his head a bit more while he speaks). I also think that I saw, in that last scene where the 16 ton weight is pulled up and dropped again on the "generic show host", the blood spattered on the wall behind the dark lord missing at the very beginning. It just seemed to suddenly appear about half a second to a second in.

And lastly, while I criticized your flash a lot, I still liked it, in fact, that's why I'm criticizing it so much. While it was good, I really think you can improve it a lot, even if you just fix most of the things above.

:]


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NerdvanaStudios responds:

Thanks for the suggestions. I did just notice that thing with the blood splatter, so I should fix that. Also, I am getting some other people to do the voices in my next cartoon, it's a combination of how overworked I was with this one, and how many complaints I got about the voicing.
-Anthony


LordDamonLordDamon

Rated 3 / 5 stars November 17, 2009

great song

at the end, it was the best part