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Uploaded
Oct 3, 2009 | 6:46 PM EDT
  • Daily 3rd Place October 4, 2009

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Author Comments

Hey Guys... Well It's been a while, I know... But here is my newest flash... I really hope you guys enjoy it... and if you did, I would really appreciate your comments...

Thanks Always,
Ashley

Reviews


AlDBarronAlDBarron

Rated 5 / 5 stars October 3, 2009

Awesome!

This was very, very well done. I loved the song and the animation fit it perfectly. Stylish, creative - definitely a flash to be remembered. I won't be surprised if it becomes a Newgrounds classic. Keep 'em coming! :-)


cheshirecat1582 responds:

Really? You think? Well Thank you sooo much! It would be awesome if it got into a collection... I have one other animation in a collection but its not very good... Anyways... thanks for the 10!


weeerieweeerie

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars October 3, 2009

Review My Me!

Pretty good. But I'm sure you know by now about the spelling error.


cheshirecat1582 responds:

Lol yeah... It wouldnt be the 1st time ive looked over a spelling error... i guess i get so cought up in errors in my animation that i dont ever check the spelling... dumb move on my part... because thats like the 1st impression someone gets when they 1st view it... I'll have to change it when i get the time... Thanks for the 9!!!


lordofudeadlordofudead

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars October 3, 2009

strange

top notch animation......weird song....



John3789John3789

Rated 4 / 5 stars October 3, 2009

An amazing stepping stone.

Well, I don't normally write reviews. But when a little known flash comes along that deserves constructive criticism, I do my best to give it.

Now how I do reviews is kind of a give and take system. I try to point out all aspects of the flash that I notice, both good and bad. I try to stay away from the bad, but we all need to acknowledge the stains on our smocks before we can get any better.

So, good things first. Firstly, I liked the smoothness of the animation. It was really clean and it flowed well in time with the song itself. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a hopeful animation turn into filth because the animator got lazy with the timing and the drawing aspects of it. I'm glad to see you taking initiative on this. Second, I have to say that I liked the particular things you decided to throw into this animation alongside the song itself. Hania is a particularly deep and moving songwriter, and most of her work can't really be put into tangible images. You've done a fairly good job of giving a visual to an enigma.

And I'm sorry that the praise section is shorter than the problem section, but I always have an easier time of finding things wrong than right. So if I've left anything out, rest assured that I thought it was fine enough to not have to bring up.

Now for the not so good bits. Mind you, I'm not trying to be mean, but truthful.

First, I have to refer to what I said about your animation being clean. Having a clean looking flash is an important aspect of the whole picture. However, there are certain aspects of life and fantasy that don't really need or should even have a clean look. The song you chose is dark, dreary, depressing, and scary even. Your flash should reflect that. And while the imagery you chose was appropriate, I thought it would have looked better if you had used a bit more of a 'grainy' look. More ragged, more jaggedy, more ripped, more tattered. Make it look like your viewing your flash behind the veil of a spiderweb. Make your audience feel as morbid and depressed as the girl does in the song. You were getting there, but it all seemed a bit too cartooney to really drive the point home fully.

One last thing that slightly irked me was the reusing of animation. I know how you don't want to have to keep animating everything individually inside a flash, but reusing whole animations really isn't cool. At least, not on their own. I'm referring to the 'chorus' bit, I suppose, when the girl is being put into the machine. I like the animation, the art, the whole idea of it. And even though it was the same words being sung when you used the animation, considering that it happened as a flashback in the 'story' of the song, I wouldn't have used it exactly as you did the first time around. I would suggest that it should have been faded in the background as the girl went about her 'life' at that point, remembering how she got to where she is. Maybe a picture montage with the images floating behind her head or something. My main point is: please don't use the same animation exactly the same way twice if you can avoid it. It shouts laziness, even if you didn't intend to be.

But yes, apart from those few nitpicks, I'd have to say that you have made a fine animation here. Your skills are not in question, simply the methods in which you apply them. Use this experience as a stepping stone to leap to new heights in your flash career.


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cheshirecat1582 responds:

Wow, Thank you for your long review!!! Seriously!!! I love hearing all the good and bad about my work... Mostly I enjoy hearing the bad because it allows me to change anything that I missed... So there is no need to apologize for anything that you say... I want to hear all your opinions!!!

You are right about reusing animations though... I hesitated on on reusing that scene for the 2nd time... I even drew out a different look for that scene but then thought it didnt get the point across as well as the 1st scene did... but i guess if you had already seen it the 1st time... you get the point...
I've been thinking about changing it... and now you have convinced me that I really should... If you dont mind me steeling your idea about the images... lol well not exactly steeling... you gave me a better idea on how to go about doing that... actually i'm thinking about showing what actually happens in the machinery instead of her going in as a girl and coming out as a changed human... but kinda in the back ground... as in a flash back would happen in real life... (Like you suggested) as if we had flash backs that where viable to everyone else... (which btw would be awesome if we could see other peoples flashbacks)

As for the grainy look... Ive been using that look allot lately... like in "Dead Bodies", and "English Tea".... Its almost a look of an old video projector... I was kinda trying to get away from that look and making it look more like one of my older flashes "Opiate"... But since that was one of my 1st flashes I did that was dark... maybe it wasn't a good idea... since i have improved alittle since then...

I agree this should be a stepping stone for me... as you put it so nicely... I need to start stepping up my game and really pay attention to detail... one thing that I do tend to do that i didn't do so much for this flash was, after i'm all done with it... and i'm like that's a wrap... I wait a day or two before i post it and watch it a few times and ask my self what could make that scene better? could I have added anything to catch the viewers attention more... I did do it with this flash but not as much as i would have normally done... I guess after not animating for a long time... it makes you careless...

anyways... I will take your review to heart!!! you honestly have made me more aware of things that i didnt think others would notice... but realize now that they are important aspects to a well thought out flash... and thank you for the 8!

-Ashley


InvertedComasInvertedComas

Rated 3 / 5 stars October 3, 2009

no more than a 6

it was pretty good, animation, ok, story (apart from the lyrics) personally i dont like goth or whatever this is, but this dosent mean im giving you a bad review for this, i just dont like the idea that aliens (or evil machines) are abducting people to transform them in goth kids hehe, although at lest it was... original... maybe different its a better word, music, not bad, but the singer had a so easily detecting nasal voice, that was bad, but your animation was good keep improving and i hope to see more of you! :D


cheshirecat1582 responds:

Hey to everyones opinion... actually i enjoy the Gothic style... But hate emo style... maybe this was border line emo... but... i dont care... thank you for your review... actually the singer is from newgrounds Hania... she make wonderful music... you should check out her other music... i mean if you didnt like this song... all her music is very different... but thank you for not voting lower because you didnt like it...