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Ted and Rick are on a journey to teach the world about driving distractions in this somewhat educational instructional video.
10 for this
BEST animation for driving lessons
not bad, i thought it was made well
Not that funny...
I think you need to work on delivery and amount of jokes. The whole time I was waiting for a funny joke to show up and nothing....must have gotten stuck in traffic behind Rick.
It could have done with being a bit more interesting in parts, but the animation was really smooth and also it has some funny moments. The talking on the phone bit was really good. XD
8/10 - To improve, talk a bit slower and a bit more clearly and make sure the video's always interesting.
Now enough with the criticism. Great video!
Could be better
You've got some potential here, but the short is sloppily done and simply feels as though you haven't thought it through to the fullest, which severely hinders it.
First thing's first. You either need to speed this up, or put in more jokes. This cartoon runs painfully slow at times where the characters are just standing around and there's nothing going on. There are long pauses between the dialogue, which need either to cease to exist or to be filled with something. You could have the characters move a bit more or do something interesting with them or you could add in more dialogue, but these sequences are often painfully slow.
A few sound effects may help make things more interesting. The first time you zoom in on the car, there's a notable lack of noise. Even if it's just a little bit in the background, a little engine noise, or wind passing by or a little bit of background music would help move things along quite a bit. The only time we get a sound effect is when something happens, but don't forget about ambient noise. It helps set the mood and makes things a bit more interesting.
If you want to make a faux instructional video, don't forget to push the concept. Watch a few of them and observe what they have in common. You could add in some cheesy instructional video background music, or a small child with a common name to ask questions of the instructor. If you want to push it further, add some ticks in the animation and screen quality to make it look like it's on a projector. I'd also make whichever character is talking to us a little bit condescending, talking down to the audience as though we don't understand these basic concepts.
The character design is alright. There's something a bit wonky about the eyes, but it's not too bothersome. However, the animation is lazy. Your characters look very immobile and stiff. The walk at the beginning is pretty well done, but there's very little movement from there on out. A few quirks would help liven things up. Even doing so little as adding in a blink now and again would help, but maybe a few head scratches, some pacing around the room, leaning on a wall things along those lines would make your characters look less stiff.
I will say that I liked where you were going with each of the jokes, but they were all to similar and none of them had too much punch to them. They all ended in the same car crash. Maybe, he could hit different things. First, it would be nice to see whatever he hits. You could animate it pretty easily by having a dust cloud dissipate over the car when it crashes, transitioning from the car to the crashed car. Maybe have him hit a fire hydrant, a tree, a building and a parked car or something like that. If you wanted to go a more violent route, he could hit a person (I personally find the idea of a granny bouncing off the roof to be pretty funny, but I don't know if that's you're kind of thing). Maybe while he's eating he can start choking on the food, and while I liked the lousy music, you might want to have him headbanging to something too. You need to push each of your jokes further to get a good laugh.
Anyway, I feel as though I've written enough here. I wish you well with episode two, and I encourage you to really put in the work and hit this next one out of the ball park. You've got a good start, but you really need to run with it in order to make something special.
Wow. I really appreciate the long feedback. I really like some of the idea's that you're giving me and I'll make sure to apply them next time. Thanks again for your suggestions and your time!
Pilot for my new show!
A story about a worm, a beetle and a very hungry bird…
New video for you to watch, while we wait for the next plague to happen...
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