UPDATE (July 3rd, 2009) - Fixed an error in the credits, and fixed audio suddenly stopping at the cost of making the time for the preloader to kick in longer, unfortunately. I'm too much of a nub to know how to fix it so until I learn how to fix it, please just give the game a minute to kick in and wait for the white screen to pass.

Yo, Jon CJG here.

Finally got this game out of the way, might be a little rough around the edges but it's definitely playable, please leave any bugs you find in the comments section.

In this game, you play as Josh, a bald kindergartener who comes home from school one day to find his home town overrun by giant, evil, killer genitalia. Armed with nothing but your now-deceased father's handgun, you must kill all the monsters before either they, or a government-issued imminent airstrike kills you first!

W - Jump
A/D - Run Left/Right
S - Crouch
R - Reload
F - Fire
Q [Hold] - Status/Upgrades Menu

You can collect ammunition for your gun, and also credits, which can be used to buy upgrades for Josh's various attributes from the Status/Upgrades menu, such as his jump height, running speed, and even his dad's gun's maximum magazine capacity and firepower!

Beat the game, replay it several times to level up Josh, and look for secrets!

Thanks for playing, guys. Comments appreciated.