Score: 4
"A little lazy."
date: June 12, 2009
You've submitted a lot of work so far on Newgrounds so welcome back!
This flash is about a mechanically operated lazy method of switching on the television through a use of systematic contraptions. It reminded me of a famous Honda car advert. {http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6QrD 8J6K1U}.
Generally I thought some of the ideas had similar levels of originality. The toaster and the fan were simple great additions. However it is extremely limited. There isn't much else to see. I also am confused as to some of the implementations. The yellow liquid, I am guessing, is egg yoke and what is the black ball? It doesn't look very realistic.
You could make many additions. Perhaps a newer version could contain the alarm clock as the final contraption. Whatever you decide to do remember that it must make sense - otherwise it looks like a confused mess.
Honestly the graphics are fairly poor. The quality of the drawn material is crooked and uneven. Circles look like crushed squidgy balls and the red lines look like loose strands of string. There have been criticisms about your animation; but frame by frame it seems perfectly okay to me {not choppy}. I think it is the strongest point about the animation.
However another serious point is that there are very few details. Some of the things looked okay, such as the human at the end - but the background completely fails. It looks like a static picture and at least make it move along as contraptions go right. The mechanical structures are also so simple. There are no solid details; they don't reach a standard that looks like your making an effort. The whole thing completely lacks polish and this is a massive shame. Surely it doesn't take long to clean up a few shoddy lines and circles {eg- grey ball roller}.
Some things you could add include - steam - numbers on the clock - movement streams {eg air lines} - pictures on the walls. Anything random is usually better than nothing. Make it more ambient.
The music is a very acquired taste but with the sound effects it saves this flash a little. They sound quite suitable for the flash; although the toaster takes too long if you're watching it again. However bangs and crashes are in places where they should be and I am pleased with that.
To reach the end of this review, I highlight the fact that there just seems to be a lack of effort. Most of your submissions are overrated; it is so middle of the road although you're good with creating light comical concepts. You are capable of designing things well {eg - "Stickya on Keyboard" has lots of detail}. You seem to be a bulk artist rather than a focused artist {meaning you pump out lots of animations rather than work hard on a few}.
The length hurts this flash. The presentation is crude. The whole thing lacks a good deal of substance. However conceptually you are somewhat gifted. You should try working hard on a large project, but also keep making lower quality flashes in bulk if you like. It is good to see you are keen to present your ideas to us so keep it up!
Sammi
* * * * { 4 - 10 } "Floppy"
