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Apr 20, 2009 | 10:28 PM EDT
  • Daily 3rd Place April 22, 2009

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Author Comments

While you load, feel free to read these comments, and also check out the collaborators' sites down below for more great work.
Questions about words? Please USE DICTIONARY.COM!

Here is the Newgrounds Flash version of "A Bid for Freedom".

It is a story that I wrote and converted into a small fable with images provided by the talented Nacho Rodriguez (who created Mr. Coo and won the #1 slot in Cold Hard Flash's Best Animated) and lush watercolours by his girlfriend Cecilia Deshayes.
It is an illustrated storybook, narrated for your pleasure by the debonair Andy Dennis, with guest turns by Sasuya and Josh "Tomamoto" Tomar you HAVE to hear!
The Storybook route was pursued so it could enter ReNaeNae's excellent Storybook Collab; /bbs/topic/1003968 Talents in writing, art, voice, sound, code etc. should give it a look!

To turn the pages, hover your mouse pointer over the bottom corner of the page, then left-click and drag the page across with your mouse until it fully flips over.
Narration starts on each page as you view it, but you're free to read at your own pace (you can right-click and select "Zoom In", then drag around to see all the fine details).

This story is NOT an attempt at hair-pin-bend trigger-happy balls-to-the-wall FBF hentai-maniac game-parodying shenanigannary. NO REALLY, IT'S NOT!
The power here is in the words and the pictures.
There is COMEDY, ACTION, DRAMA and ROMANCE, all skewed at odd angles.
There's fantasy, exotic locations, body odour, and even a fast car if you stick with it!
Have patience, we've many things to offer you. Stick with us. We're a good group.

Please vote and review showing respect to the combined talent and hard work involved in this Flash. A lot of passion went into this just for you guys, so be fair.
Critique, constructive criticism, suggestions, these are things we graciously accept.
If you vote or review abusively, you let Newgrounds down. Don't.
If this is "not your sort of thing" or you're somehow disappointed by the lack of animation, this is not the fault of anyone involved; no-one's forcing you to watch!

With all this in mind, we hope you enjoy (with your drink or snack of choice) our hard work, vote and review responsibly... and may your day be brighter.

For more awesome while you wait, check out: (Nacho's site)
ceciliadeshayes.blogspot. com (Cecilia's blog) (home to Andy Dennis and his mate Will) (earlier collaborative efforts between me, a mate of mine and Nacho, including an award-winning short for the Marbella Film Festival)


This section is for the creative people out there:

This has been a hot coal in my hands for quite some time, burning with collective passion, yet I've been reluctant to throw it into the fire.
Enough people are happy with the results as they stand for me to go forth and submit it.
Trust that this will blossom over time as we come back to better adorn this work.

My preliminary thanks are on this page: /bbs/topic/1049617/3

I additionally thank DrNeroCF for saving us in the coding department and Deathcon for further help; Joey Young (http://joeymofo.newgroun for providing sound effects at short notice and the Very Odd House (http://www.theveryoddhou for a small snippet of lush score; and to Josh Tomar, introduced late into the project yet he delivered an outstanding performance within minutes of me asking him.
Further thanks go to the Newgrounds Team for their support of this work, and to all Newgrounds users who do the same (including Mr GUS, who is highly underrated: be sure to see his latest /portal/view/483436 and vote for it in this year's Treasure Hunt).
Any other great participants that come to light will be remembered here equally.




Rated 4.5 / 5 stars April 21, 2009

I heard a fly buzz-- when I died

In spite some jank similes ( blue as dolphin tears) and volume spikes (in between characters) I adore everything about this work. The story, the art, and the voice acting where all great. I caught several allusions in the writing including Emily Dickenson, Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer, and Donkey Kong.

I hope that this will become a new collaborative standard for Newgrounds.

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AdamCook responds:

Hey, there, nice commentary! Finally some criticism aimed at me rather than the technical issues I know too well about!

The "jankyness" of the similes are partly intended; it became so ridiculous trying to think of one-upping descriptive qualities for her ("a dress spun from the finest silk of 1000 spiders", for example, would have been considerably less useful) that I decided to go for complete camp instead. (I mean, surely you didn't think "shone like the centre of an Oreo" was a great romantic declaration!!! Hahahahaha!) Plus, it managed to convey something visually interesting that Nacho + Ceci picked up on and ran with gusto (notice the teardrop pattern on her dress).
I'm happy with your comment, though; it's a personal thing, writing, and we all have different views on the values it should uphold. On this work I tried to make something with heart but also with humour; I'm pleased with what I delivered and glad that in the main it worked for you.

As for the volume spikes; good call, no-one's mentioned that yet but I've had a sneaking suspicion. Some of the characters are meant to be a bit loud, but I could probably do a better mix in the studio. Cheers for a helpful critique!

The references were fairly incidental (although I am the biggest fan of video games), and though I get the Emily D reference you pointed out, I don't see this having much to do with her take on the spiritual rot that comes with death. Flies get around in all the media, you know! As a side note though, when Joey was providing some of the sound effects, he did offer me a fly buzz I'm sure was from the IHAFBWID animation (short and fantastic piece of work ER28A). It was too surreal for this... sounded very eerie.

Naturally I hope that more people start combining their talents for increased benefit: many people could deliver so much more with a good team. I also hope that we start to attract more writing, artistic, vocal, audio and programming talents of the calibre witnessed here, so that we can raise the collective standard on what constitutes a great submission.

Most importantly though, I hope we start attracting more viewers like you, who appreciate what we're trying to do and welcome us with such open arms. Thank you very much!


Rated 4.5 / 5 stars April 21, 2009

Refreshing take on collaboration

I found it pretty cool that you hopefully opened the door on the possibilities of collaboration. Alot of times writers get a bad rep for 'not doing hardly any work'. This case the writing pretty much carries the load and does so to a point where i didnt really miss the animation.

The artwork and voice work paired well with the story and the story itself was unnusual enough to feel like going through it all.

My only gripe is that the text is pixelated unless I zoom in. Dont know if thats the limitation of the site or it was published that way but i have a pet peeve with typography that isnt prestine. Maybe raise the publish quality of the bitmaps?

That was my only gripe and thus the 9/10

Maybe assorted page turning sound effects that cue when the page is released after its dragged to a point?

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Rated 5 / 5 stars April 21, 2009

Pleasent story with excellant life lesson!

Its wonderful to see pieces like this that differ from the typical flashes found here on Newgrounds.

The story not only managed to keep one interested enough to turn pages, but was absurdly humerous the whole way as well.

I hope to see more in the future.

[Oh an life lesson: Never go "dutch" on a first date :P]

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Rated 5 / 5 stars April 21, 2009


This is truly a testament to what Newgrounds should be all about. Everything was so well done, and it was a really enjoyable experience. The watercolor was what really made it pop for me. The colors on the title page just pop wonderfully. I would go into to other aspects, but I'd just be saying the same thing.

Its amazing

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Rated 5 / 5 stars April 21, 2009

I never would've thought to see something like...

like this on Newgrounds. It was enjoyable from beginning to end, and I had a smile the entire way through. An excellent piece of work, art rather. I hope you all have considered to make another book? Because I am sure it would be just as good.

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