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Apr 20, 2009 | 10:28 PM EDT
  • Daily 3rd Place April 22, 2009

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While you load, feel free to read these comments, and also check out the collaborators' sites down below for more great work.
Be sure to TURN UP YOUR VOLUME!
Questions about words? Please USE DICTIONARY.COM!
THANKS FOR YOUR REVIEWS! After receiving over 350, I CAN'T PROMISE I'LL RESPOND TO NEW REVIEWS! I'll try!

Here is the Newgrounds Flash version of "A Bid for Freedom".

It is a story that I wrote and converted into a small fable with images provided by the talented Nacho Rodriguez (who created Mr. Coo and won the #1 slot in Cold Hard Flash's Best Animated) and lush watercolours by his girlfriend Cecilia Deshayes.
It is an illustrated storybook, narrated for your pleasure by the debonair Andy Dennis, with guest turns by Sasuya and Josh "Tomamoto" Tomar you HAVE to hear!
The Storybook route was pursued so it could enter ReNaeNae's excellent Storybook Collab;
http://www.newgrounds.com /bbs/topic/1003968 Talents in writing, art, voice, sound, code etc. should give it a look!

To turn the pages, hover your mouse pointer over the bottom corner of the page, then left-click and drag the page across with your mouse until it fully flips over.
Narration starts on each page as you view it, but you're free to read at your own pace (you can right-click and select "Zoom In", then drag around to see all the fine details).

This story is NOT an attempt at hair-pin-bend trigger-happy balls-to-the-wall FBF hentai-maniac game-parodying shenanigannary. NO REALLY, IT'S NOT!
The power here is in the words and the pictures.
There is COMEDY, ACTION, DRAMA and ROMANCE, all skewed at odd angles.
There's fantasy, exotic locations, body odour, and even a fast car if you stick with it!
Have patience, we've many things to offer you. Stick with us. We're a good group.

Please vote and review showing respect to the combined talent and hard work involved in this Flash. A lot of passion went into this just for you guys, so be fair.
Critique, constructive criticism, suggestions, these are things we graciously accept.
If you vote or review abusively, you let Newgrounds down. Don't.
If this is "not your sort of thing" or you're somehow disappointed by the lack of animation, this is not the fault of anyone involved; no-one's forcing you to watch!

With all this in mind, we hope you enjoy (with your drink or snack of choice) our hard work, vote and review responsibly... and may your day be brighter.

For more awesome while you wait, check out:
www.mistercoo.com (Nacho's site)
ceciliadeshayes.blogspot. com (Cecilia's blog)
www.ediblecastle.com (home to Andy Dennis and his mate Will)
www.scarymarymedia.com (earlier collaborative efforts between me, a mate of mine and Nacho, including an award-winning short for the Marbella Film Festival)

==================

This section is for the creative people out there:

This has been a hot coal in my hands for quite some time, burning with collective passion, yet I've been reluctant to throw it into the fire.
Enough people are happy with the results as they stand for me to go forth and submit it.
Trust that this will blossom over time as we come back to better adorn this work.

My preliminary thanks are on this page:
http://www.newgrounds.com /bbs/topic/1049617/3

I additionally thank DrNeroCF for saving us in the coding department and Deathcon for further help; Joey Young (http://joeymofo.newgroun ds.com) for providing sound effects at short notice and the Very Odd House (http://www.theveryoddhou se.com/) for a small snippet of lush score; and to Josh Tomar, introduced late into the project yet he delivered an outstanding performance within minutes of me asking him.
Further thanks go to the Newgrounds Team for their support of this work, and to all Newgrounds users who do the same (including Mr GUS, who is highly underrated: be sure to see his latest http://www.newgrounds.com /portal/view/483436 and vote for it in this year's Treasure Hunt).
Any other great participants that come to light will be remembered here equally.

Cheers!

Reviews


Gage540Gage540

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars April 24, 2009

Great

This story was great. The art was amazing as was the voice acting. The humor was good and not too over the top more subtle. Also, i'm not sure if this was intended, but it looked almost as if when he was making his speech involving 9/11 his ears almost looked like most caricatures of George W. Bush. Either way this was a great submission and keeps reminding me of how a submission can be amazing without having a cock joke on NewGrounds.


People find this review helpful!

shortfusetempershortfusetemper

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars April 24, 2009

Cool...

I will say that I found your use of description to be really good. The way you described the party or his alcohol poisoning was really great. The whole story read fine, I found it to be a bit dry in some parts, especially the beginning. However, the rest of the story made up for it, especially the ending!
My only pick on this would be the voice acting, he did sound a little bored throughout it, and it doesn't help that he essentially uses the same monotone voice for most of the flash. It sounds as if he's not the character, but merely disconnected and saying his observations with boredom.
It is a great little story and I enjoyed your illustrations.


People find this review helpful!

KozelekianKozelekian

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars April 24, 2009

A fairytale satire with a cute little anticlimax

There are a couple of nitpicks, but overall it was very good, fine tuned product. Highly original, especially for a site based on movement rather than stills.

Really the only serious complaint I have is one that may be unpreventable. The images were highly pixelated; enough so that I could barely read the actual text and had to rely on the voice-overs. If I spaced out looking at the artwork or just thinking, I had to flip back and listen to everything else again.

Minor quarrels include the fact that voiceovers should have been mutable. They were definitely good, but it should always be an option. On the eighth page, the watercolor seems to literally 'cut-off'; the top off the page is suddenly pure white.

You seem to spend a bit of time in the beginning (when he's at the party, but before he bids on the girl) navelgazing. It seemed introspective and not really correlated to the plot. This section was still very enjoyable and provoking, but it sticks out because of this. Perhaps it was meant to set the stage for the character but I didn't really get that.

I'm not sure why the file was so big when the images felt relatively low-quality. I thought it may have been the page turn effect, and if this is the case I honestly would have preferred higher quality pictures instead.

On the brighter and much more important side, the drawing and writing was distinctive, the coloring was wonderful, except for the page where he enters the garden. For plants that 'dripped paint' it seemed odd for the barren space to be the focal point.

The writing was great. Highly distinctive, yet in tone with the story. Definitely thought-provoking and satirical. Lots of room for some great analysis and thinking.

The ending was certainly distorting. I personally loved it, but I can see it being very polarizing.

Generally, the vocals were great.

Ultimately, the most important things were done well, but the little things really impeded the work.

If this is be an actual book for sale at some point I would love to know. Definitely something I could see picking up.


People find this review helpful!
AdamCook responds:

Let me start by saying thank you for your detailed review! I see it is your first, and I am thrilled it is for our first submission; I am also glad the Flash provoked this intelligent response with excellent even-handed critique.

Sadly, the text issue is probably still avoidable, but it takes a long time to format and is difficult to work around the images without obscuring them (a horrible shame whenever it occurs). It's really the only way to integrate the language and the visuals in a harmonious way, but perhaps it could be better handled, as with the jungle scene you described. The cut-off is also a nasty glitch and needs to be fixed coinciding with the long text haul, but we will definitely do it sometime soon so the whole thing looks more professional and can be better enjoyed!

The image quality is actually the reason for the high file size; better quality could drastically up the size, lower size could kill the quality!
There might be a way around it, but until we find out what that would involve, this is the best we can do!

You're right that sounds should be optional (although they always come HIGHLY recommended!), and when we fix the text issue we'll probably chuck in a mute button; maybe even a few other buttons as well, depending what works and what we can fit in there.

It was from the initial introduction that the rest of the piece spawned, and although I'd thought about editing it I was encouraged to run the story as-is.
Doubtless I could have trimmed some of it, but it seems to work in context for the majority of people and flows with the material.
Asides from minimal set-up of the character, the setting and general ambient mood, there's some slight foreshadowing of things to come that's perhaps more obvious in retrospect (the chandelier, the mysterious figure desiring his presence, the patrons stuck like flies... simple stuff, just little hints).
Plus when Nacho + Ceci came back with such fantastic images for the early scenes, followed by Andy's great take on the narrator character, I could hardly say no!

I'm really glad you like the art and the voices, and your praise for the writing is well-received on my part; you know what you're talking about! It is very personal as a story, even with all the parts that speak to popular interests, and so I'm amazed it's garnered as many fans as it has! Naturally I'm deliriously happy that's the case!

We'll probably produce a print edition of this in the near future; we'll keep you and all of our fans posted as to when and where print copies can be picked up.
However, if you want our voice actors to narrate the print edition for you, you'll have to pay for their bed, board and travel expenses in advance.

You should be glad you nitpicked; it gives us direction and helps us take things we can change in the right direction. Hope our future editions rectify these errors.

Cheers for your fantastic review; please be sure to keep an eye out for our future works!


Eom271Eom271

Rated 5 / 5 stars April 24, 2009

Brilliant

I loved everything about this. :) It reminded me as well of the stories i read when i was young lol quite a good feeling, and the pictures were great as well as the way you went to te next page. Brilliant really lol :)


People find this review helpful!
AdamCook responds:

We're all really happy you liked it, and thank you so much for adding us to your favourites!


ying-VS-yangying-VS-yang

Rated 4 / 5 stars April 24, 2009

Great art mixing perfectly with great writing but

a surreal script being read by a ridiculous malcom mcdowl accent? in the most serious and monotone voice ever?
I found myself muting the whole thing because the voice acting was so bad.
If this didn't even have voice, i would have given this a 9/10.
If it had good professional voice, a 10/10.


AdamCook responds:

Haha, I'm so sorry you didn't like the voice!
I think Andy's done an excellent job reading this, though, and by muting your speakers you missed out on Sasuya and Josh, plus the music and sound work that came into it, all of which add to the excitement.

We all have our different tastes, and I'm thoroughly glad that you stuck through despite the acting and enjoyed it so much anyway!

Cheers!