Score: 5
"Needs Improvement"
date: March 23, 2009
It was fine. The art was solid, the animation was smooth and flowed well, the music was good quality unfortunately the following points need improvement: the storyline, which needs something more than just the simple story you made about an ill attempt at selling something fake, which could've been a funnier to a wider audience story had it been a mother being interviewed about her child's habit of putting things in her mouth (could start as a school science project with the child asking her mother what she was like as a young person, and along the answers come memory bits which show exactly what happened), the voice quality since I think your recording style is a little off for the voice, some better equipment and of course software will help alleviate the problem of obviously unedited records of people's voices which proves to be quite annoying with these kinds of one liner flashes, and finally the length, which could be improved with my above suggested story since this was supposed to be a short flash, but most short flashes happen to have something that is short and meaningful or often times hilarious, but this could've been an extended story for people to watch and appreciate since your flash doesn't really captivate that wide of an audience. I know you can improve, so please, take this as a step to improvement in making your next flash better which I think will if you decide to improve quality more and target a much wider Newgrounds based audience.
