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Or "Put your rock and roll hands in the god damn burning sand."
- Andy Richter's twin brother
i didn't know
that pancakes was such a dirty, dirty girl
It's all so very great. Why is this has not been on the front of the page I have no clue manboy. The cat seemed a bit dead, tho.
"A Catty Tale for you, Me and My Shadow"
"This is a true story... it actually happened to me one day.
Well, I was sitting at my computer, completely naked, looking for some porn to aid my jack-off session that day. I must have accidently left open my door because suddenly, I heard a meowing sound and the next thing I knew something furry was rubbing against my legs. I glanced down and saw Shadow. He is my pet, a black cat. He is very young, about a year old, but very affectionate. Shadow continues rubbing against me and I try to ignore him the best I could. The next thing I know, he is rubbing my balls and starts to lick them.
I kinda pushed him away. It freaked me out. I go back to my porn, and he walks up again. This time, he puts his paws on my thighs, and starts to lick my semi hard cock. "SHADOW! WHAT THE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??!!!" I yell at him, and this time, he runs off.
A moment later, I wished I hadn't done that. By then, I was rock hard and horny.
I sighed and decided to just lie down and jack off. That way I'd not be so horny. So there I was, lying there, my eyes closed, fantasizing about my boyfriends cock, when my cat walks in again. Suddenly a funny idea popped into my head and I said to myself, "What the hell! Why not give it a try."
I called him up on the bed, watch as Shadow jumped at the mattress and approached my prone form. He crawled on my chest, licked my nipples, licked my armpits, and walked over to my crotch. My 7 incher was really fucking at that moment, and all of a sudden he starts licking the base of it. I gasp. It hurt but it also felt so good! He starts to get really good at it, and then starts licking my head. Oh shit, I said to myself, my mind reeling back. This feeling was so intense! Shadow continued licking, when I finally cum all over his face and my cock. I thought this would scare him off, but much to my surprise, he seemed to like it and continued licking. I watched him, tired and seemingly helpless as he licked me clean, and then went to attend to the cum on his face.
Shadow and I have had several more of these encounters..."
Amazing what feeling lucky in google can do
It was one boring day. My parents were out on some dumb doctor's convention, so her I was alone in the house. I stayed in my room, sitting on my bed as I watched TV. Fuck. There was nothing to watch, I thought as I started flipping through the channels with my remote. Giving up, I turned the TV off and lay back down, staring up at the ceiling in frustration. It was a hot day. So I was only wearing a small almost see through sleeveless white top and a pair of cotton shorts.
Suddenly I heard a meow; I turned and saw Tiger my pet cat, entering my room. Like me, he must be very pissed off, I thought. He has not been able to get out of the house for the past few nights, ever since the neighbor's Doberman broke its leash.
I was surprised when he jumped in the bed and started licking the exposed part of my stomach. It was ticklish feeling his sandpaper tongue rubbing my skin but I let him do it. Soon, he was reaching down below my navel so I unbuttoned my shorts and took down my panties. All of a sudden, he stopped and started sniffing my pussy, and would not stop. I got surprised that what he was doing was making me all wet, and lay back there watching what he will do next. Suddenly, Tiger let out a soft growl and I felt his tongue licking my pussy like crazy.
Tiger ignored this and went deeper and deeper into me. I wanted more as he continued licking inside me. I was mindless. I could think of nothing else but what my cat was doing to me and silently prayed that he won't stop. I felt this incredibly amazing sense of pleasure and ecstasy washing all over me until bit by bit my enormous feeling of arousal became a heightened sense of enjoyment, arching my pelvis higher and higher until it became a massive and explosive orgasm!
I did not know how long I lay there on my bed, feeling exhausted after what I have gotten through, until I felt fur being rubbed on my neck and the sensation of cat tongue against my cheek. Opening my eyes, I saw Tiger lying on my chest and staring at me with those feline eyes. I smiled and began to stroke his fur gently.
"You and me, Tiger." I whispered. "You and me forever."
Changed my life
Because of this flash, my cat and I have begun a new and beautiful relationship. I thank you sir from the bottom of my heart.
That was incredible. I think now I understand-- now I understand life.
Featuring Epic Voice Guy
A big head dog auditions to be the mascot of some commercials.
Detective Nwar flashes back to his days as a police officer.
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