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Uploaded
Jan 19, 2009 | 1:30 AM EST

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Author Comments

Here is my first animation. Nothing pretty or lengthy. Just wanted some feedback and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism on how to improve.

The flash took me two and a half days. This flash was in fact a short dream of mine, not too sure what it means...

Reviews


SFaPiLSFaPiL

Rated 4 / 5 stars January 19, 2009

Nicely done

Since you're asking for constructive criticism I'll try as a viewer to give you my opinion on what you might work on.

First of all... avoid making simple mistakes such as the scene when the black blob spits out those red feathers. The protagonist at first draws out his LEFT arm and then, in the next scene... he catches the feathers with his RIGHT hand.

Second thing. The black blob was done pretty well. It had a good 'fluid' motion to it and all, but the protagonist, on the other hand, seemed a bit too stiff.

Third and last thing. The cape of the protagonist MUST be done better since it's practically the character's main garnment. Being a serious character you should also work on improving the expression (and 'depth') of his eyes. Needless to say that by increasing the quality and detail of your characters you'll increase the viewer's interest towards them.

Story-wise, I have a feeling you won't have problems. Due to the abstract nature of this flash things worked out fine, but make sure to add a preface for future ones.

Keep up the good work.

(btw, have you been influenced by Naruto anime in your flash?)


TypicalDecoy responds:

Oh wow, I didn't even notice the hand thing! Thanks! I agree that the cape has to flow better, but I just didn't know exactly how a cape flows so I did the best I could from mental imaging. Thanks for the Review though! :D


DeweyGlandDeweyGland

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars January 19, 2009

I thought it rocked.

You should be proud of yourself. It had more depth and sophistication in the story than 99% of NG submissions. Your aesthetic palette was restrained, thank god, and your animation flowed well. Visually appealing, and satisfying.

Can't wait to see more of your work.


TypicalDecoy responds:

That may be true, but I am shooting to be as good as the 1% of the animations that are jaw dropping, Ive got a long way to go.


DanoneenoDanoneeno

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars January 19, 2009

Good!

It's very good for the first time! Ilike how you made this black thing. Trane for making your charecter moves, and it'll be perfect!



Driver80DeepDriver80Deep

Rated 3 / 5 stars January 19, 2009

Not bad for a 1st...

Not bad for a first flash my friend.

Suggestions:

1. Possibly change the music as the tone or atmosphere of your flash changes.

2. Maybe try adding a back story to the flash? It all depends on where you want to go with it, but sometimes it is good to see where a character has come from or why everything is happening.


TypicalDecoy responds:

I will probably add back story for my future flashes. This was a dream though, and I didn't come into the story before you press the play button, so I didn't know much other then what I saw.


psychochick52psychochick52

Rated 5 / 5 stars January 19, 2009

I don't know much about flash but

This looks good. The animation seemed good and the art was alright. Wish I could give something more helpful sorry. Was a bit odd but since it was based on a dream I guess thats par for the course.