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Here is my first animation. Nothing pretty or lengthy. Just wanted some feedback and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism on how to improve.
The flash took me two and a half days. This flash was in fact a short dream of mine, not too sure what it means...
I really liked how fluid your animation flowed it seemed planned out and given enough parts to shine. Its a bizarre piece but feels very European riddle in mystery. I love your balloon or liquid style character that follows your protagonist. I definite believe this is from a dream given the multiple meanings riddled within. Your protagonists face seems a bit boxy but the missing mouth seems to send a deeper meaning.
Not bad for 2 days of work.
This is well done, period -- not well done for a first Flash, but it is very, very good. What I like about it is that you maintained the dream-like quality through the visuals through better than average animation. You didn't reply extensively on tweens, but mixed it with frame-by-frame work that makes this piece shine.
I also like how you chose a different subject matter, and avoided some cliches and subverted tropes as well. As a result, even if I am not sure of the deeper meaning of this dream, I can follow the story that is told, an original story that is open-ended enough for the viewer to intepret. It's a wonderful change from being drawn by an author's derivative narrative.
My biggest criticism is that the sound quality is a bit low. That and there are some points, such as when our protaginist is extending his hand, that the visuals aren't as well composed as in the rest of the short movie. Nevertheless, this is a good Flash entry.
What a pleasant suprise
For a first animation this was pretty damn good. I wouldn't be surprised if I were to find this kind of thing on the front page. It had a minor story line that didn't need to really be explained, the music fit the animation, the animation itself was also pretty good. The only thing I could really see needing work is some minor shape issues (the hand at some points looked a little odd... but they are hard to draw anyway) and I would try to work on some smoother animation skills. That might mean drawing more frames for the end result, maybe working with tweens in some way, or any other solution you can think of. As this is your first I gave you a 9 due to the sheer wow factor that it hit me with. I enjoyed the minor story and even felt some of the emotion that it conveyed. (the part inside the creature, viewing what has or will happen) The simple effect of dropping all the color and keeping it line art only was the right move to make there. All in all a great first movie.
My only constructive criticism is that the walk cycle from the side view on the main character is a little weird. It's obscured by his cloak, but it looks like he's lifting his knees forward with each step without extending his lower legs forward to touch the ground. People don't typically bring their knee any farther forward than the step that they're taking, so it looks unnatural.
Is this *really* your first animation?
It's great! Not a lot I can suggest, other than maybe have some sound effects on the next one, but it works okay with just the music. Otherwise that's a very impressive start.
Bande annonce type aventure/SF influencé par Miyazaki Moebius et syd mead.
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