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so here is my 2nd flash.
i am uploading what i have right now because this can be a long story. if no one likes this now i know that i have to make my next part waaaaaaay better.
mario world is invaded by bowser. this part is an introduction on the story so the real action start beyond here.
i hope you enjoy this part en just like my previous submission:tips are greatly apreciated.
Not bad, but the text went to fast and I missed alot of it. Perhaps if you made it so the viewer could advance the text when he/she is ready. Also for the amount of talking there seemed to be too little action. I expected for Bowser to be able to overpower the Mario Bros. the action would be alot more intense.
the sound is cool but, more action, and much bla bala bla ''great''
This definitely looks like it has the potential to be a good series.
A few things to note though:
1) Plain black backgrounds don't really work. It almost seems a little lazy considering that you've put alot of effort into the characters.
2) The scene where Bowser's minions stormed the castle was a little less extreme than how Mario was telling it. Maybe you could have more epic battles to explain the events taking place better?
3) The text was a little too fast. I think you should let the viewer read it at their own pace, that way they won't miss anything critical in the plotline. I only just managed to keep up.
All in all though I quite liked it, I think it's well-made and works fine, you just need to polish it up a bit! I look forward to seeing how the story progresses.
thanks for reviewing. next time bigger armies, more action and more. i know that i am going to work with way more sprites and motion tweens so i just have to try and keep it synoptic(is this the right translation?:) ) so no critical bugs occur in my next part
Alot of...too much text
this was mostly text, the animated parts were very badly done and there were only like 5 monsters, which is definatly not enough to take over mushroom castle...you also spelled the word "untill" wrong in the beginning, luigi is NOT the brave courageous hopeful person while mario sits around moping. I know this is a lot of criticism but if you were to continue I would suggest you try to understand that this needs alot of improvements. I hope this helped ^.^
i can handle some criticism:) i know you only try to help. but what you say about luigi is just logival because in most movies he is a frightened little chicken. in this one i want hem to be courageous as mario and mario just has a little depression so luigi wants to cheer him up. i know this needs a lot of improvements, and i also know this was just more text than aciotn. but in ome movies there ust be text first than action. but anywa thanks for reviewing it is helpen a lot
This was alright for your second flash. Some problems I had were the movements in some parts- the running was way off. Also, those Super Mario World enemy sprites were horribly disfigured. This may just be because of the Vcam, but still. Also note- that Jpeg for the map at the beginning looked HORRIBLE. Seriously, fix those things and your grammar and you could have a decent series.
i am sorry for the bad grammar, i am dutch and am not used in writing ;arge english parts, i think i will first look up some background tutorials here and look for more backgrounds on the net and take the one with the best quality. i also learned that zooming in to much is not gooed for the quality. thanks for your help
An interactive story of love and adventure
Turn-based PvP Arena Battler
THE WORLD HAS BEEN INVADED BY ALIENS! It's up to a nerdy, lazy high school kid to save it!
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