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I decided to use Bezo's Cupcake-clip "Emotional Demo 2", and make an animation for it. I thought it would fit for Christmas, so... here it is!
Enjoy the christmasyness!
Your drawling skills are average not bad but not good. Just continue to practice, practice, practice, learn, learn, learn that's all I can say.
Good use of backround music, it wasn't too loud; add it help set to the mood. The recording quality was good, but it did seem a little muffled, which is where you lost those ten points. However, I understand that getting a good mic is somewhat expensive and hard to do, so don't take the loss of points too heavily.
You storyline was ok, given it was a comedy so I don't expect a story that would rival Charles Dickens. You did have an original story, and not something that I've seen anything else come close to, so kudos on that.
It could be that it's just not my type of humor, but I didn't find it all that funny. Given I had a little laugh inside; especially the writing Santa Claus for a cup cake. It just wasn't, laugh so hard you think you might die, material.
Replay Value: 25/100
It was, however, funny enough to watch again in like a year or so.
Overall score: 290/500 = 58/100
Gave you a 2/5 on the submission vote.
Continue drawling and work on your jokes and you could have a great flash one day.
[Review Request Club (http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/
"You must be a common scholar afore you can be a oncommon one, I should hope!" -- Joe from "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens
Thank you very much!
Not too bad.
~ Animation/Graphics ~
The Good Points - For the most part the animation was pretty smooth. I liked the way you changed the guy's face in the very beginning of the flash to make it curvier. It really showed a lot of emotion when you did that. The colors and backgrounds were well done.
The Bad Points - Perhaps not the best drawn, but not too terrible. Just having it done a little bit better would have helped the submissions rating in my opinion, but like I said it was decent, could have just been a tad better.
~ Story/Content ~
The Good Points - This was an interesting flash. I personally never saw anything like this before, so it must have been original enough. I liked the emotion that you used with the guy that wasn't talking as humor. I also liked how you made the picture of the cupcake that the guy drew on the paper animated. It brought more attention to it and I feel added a lot to the animation.
The Bad Points - I didn't really like that you didn't have the guy drawing on the piece of paper, but just the writing showing up randomly instead. Perhaps that could have been something that you could have added. That's really nothing major though and I didn't take anything away for that.
In my opinion the biggest thing about the flash was that I was completely lost. I really had no clue what was going on. It seemed to me that nothing was suppose to be going on and that it was just something completely random, but it wasn't really random enough for me to find funny or entertaining. If it's a parody of something then I honestly don't know what it is.
The Good Points - There was pretty good sound effects in this animation. The voice acting was pretty decent. The background music that you used was also very fitting for the flash.
The Bad Points - Perhaps the voice was a bit muffled. I don't think it was though. I blame that on my poor hearing and bad speakers so no points off for that just in case.
~ Overall ~
Perhaps just a bit boring. Not too entertaining at all, but a decent flash all in all.
~ Review Request Club ~
Thanks for a good review :D
Not a bad animation. I must say I did kinda like it. There´s still some stuff that could be improved though.
The drawings of this movie in itself weren´t that impressive. Both the characters and the stuff in the room seemed pretty basic. So they could be a little better and I suggest you practice with that. Perhaps you should especially practice with the use of colors and shades. I think that would improve it a lot. The animation was pretty good on the other hand. Except for when the cupcake 'came out of his eye'. That part seemed a little choppy, adding a few more frames would fix that I suppose.
Also, I suggest adding subtitles. In some parts I really couldn´t hear what was said. Not that it mattered that much in this case because I got the overall joke, but perhaps in your other projects it could be a problem.
The backgroundmusic was nice I thought. It helped giving the movie an overdramatic atmosphere, which added to the humor of the flash. The voice-acting was alright in my opinion. Could be better, but it´s probably pretty hard to find really good voice-actors so it´s fine this way.
Overall 6 out of 10, 3 out of 5. Well, I did kinda like it as I said above. Just keep practicing and I`m sure you´ll produce some great flashes someday. Keep it up and good luck with any future projects.
Very little shading, fairly poorly drawn. Below average, I'd say. You used filters too much, as well. The cupcake was drawn OK, though..
Most of the animation were average FBF and tweening, which doesn't really impress. The best bits were the writing on the card, and the lip-sync for "Thank you".
I have seen a storyline very similar to this in other places..So it's not too original..it's not even a great storyline..So I dunno why people would want to reproduce it..There's no real punchline or any decent humour..at least, not in my opinion..
The music worked well, adding the atmosphere, but I didn't like the voice actors, to be honest. The recording quality wasn't the best, and there wasn't much emotion in their voices, really.
It has the bare bones of an animation, but nothing else. Needs a lot of work.
[Review Request Club]
Thanks for the constructive criticism :)
I agree with oddlyshaped chris, you did steal his idea but hey great animaiton though :)
Well, he didn't make the sound clip, it's made by Bezo, so "steal" isn't the right word. And it was originally Bezo's idea ;)
This CREAM will fix all of your problems.
Mysterious bunny follows kid home
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