Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
Sebborn was my high school Robotics teacher who likes chocolate...a lot. It's my first flash animation so don't just say it sucks. It's my first time. Give me constructive criticism. I worked hard on it and I hope you like it.
okay, could be better
first i thought the opening credits took too long a way to improve that is the you have 2 parts by the same person the uhh... frenchguy you could put art and the other thing he did on 1 "slide" or whatever and even then you could probably speed them up. Second the voices were pretty hard to understand so maybe somehow add more clarity. Well some of the other things could be improved, such as the animation on thier arms and maybe the wheelchair. Other than that the jokes were funny and it was fairly well done. hope this helps
Now that you guys mention it, I would agree. I should of put them at the end. Thanks for the input. Sorry it didn't sit well with you guys. Episode 2 will be better. I promise. I also don't know why the voices came out so crappy. The recording program I use starts late and ends early when you click the record button. I'll have to find something better.
nice movie, but maybe you better show the credits after it.
otherwise people would be bored before they even watch it....
but i did not like it. There was some setup, but the characters were not given any real attributes or originality. They just were not relateable(sp). And i couldnt follow the story. I dont get the conflict, and there seemed to be nostory set up to follow. I did however like their interaction in situations, and you can write conversation fluidly. So thats my review, and its all constructive. Read it and tell me what you think. And just to be clear, im only reviewing the script. you already know you're a beginning animator, and thats something you cant REALLY give advice on, ya just have to se where you take yourself.
Gave you a 3 because its rough butnot blamworthy.
Read and feed...back
Thanks for the input. I will try and make the story a little more involved from now on.
yakkity sax yay^-^
like the movie too but just using that song earned you the 10
Im not going to lie, this shit is boring as fuck
The truth hurts, but this flash DOES suck. Could your opening sequence be any fucking longer, louder, or more boring? Shit, i couldn't watch this crap. Lesson of the day: don't waste a lot of time introducing the viewer to a piece of crap. At least you put some effort in this...it will pass judgment. 2/5
I do agree about the credits. I regret putting them first. Sorry you didn't like it.
Blue Pencilmate meets Red Pencilmate, but things don't go so well...
While taking the day off work, Lloyd and Glynis take in a movie
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.