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Ehm... I unno'. :]
Wow it was really great the only thing that was a mistake i think you write "I tired at the end" at the end i dunno if it's "Im tired at the end". You can improve on the voice but it was really great! But it's kinda short.
Overall 4/5 gj! ^_^
It'd be sweet...
...if you finished it.
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