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Uploaded
Nov 9, 2008 | 7:56 AM EST

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Author Comments

The town Milk-shake Land is haunted by a clown. Mister Jonatthan is a stupid but proud character. The Clown meets Mr Jonathhan while he is looking for a milkshake.

In this animation the clown teleports M. Jonatthan into a fair.

I'm french so my english needs work, so if you see some mistakes, please, pm me.

Thanks to natwel for the correction of the commentary.

Reviews


FroFro

Rated 4 / 5 stars November 22, 2008

Pretty good.

That was pretty awesome man. I think in the beginning you should have animated the clock to move while it was loading. That might have seemed pretty cool so instead of just a picture of a clock there was a moving clock to represent the time that it takes to load. You are a great animator and this would be a very high scoring flash if you would have filled in most of it with color, voices, and sound. The story was funny and original. I think you needed color the most and then after that you really needed sounds. I think voices would have been better than the text that you used to show us the words. You messed up a lot on the English, but if you need help with that just send me a PM and I can't proofread your words before you submit the flash next time. You should also look for voice actors in the voice actor's thread in the audio portal. Your flash series could be in the top 50 submissions on this website if you did these things.

Anyway, I noticed that you are friends with sonofkirk. I am also good friends with him. =P

~ Review Request Club ~


Grimasen responds:

Hi, thanks.


CoopCoop

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars November 22, 2008

Almost Monochrome

Not a bad production, but like other reviewers have mentioned, it does need more than just the occasional sporadic splash of colour. Without the colour, Mr. Jonathan really stands out like a sore thumb when he is put onto the real life images.

I think that you could do with a few more alterations as well, such as the addition of a subtitles bar, so that they don't jump around all over the place - either that or get yourself a good voiceover artist to save you that effort. The second thing is to really concentrate on animating all of the piece, as those bits that you've done seem reasonably competent, although when the rest of the animation consists of still images, it does let it down a little.

The plot does tend to drag on a little as well, especially through the long dialogues that don't have the skip buttons attached to them. Editing or adding skip buttons would certainly be your best bet here.

[Review Request Club]


Grimasen responds:

Hi, thanks for that review.


HaggardHaggard

Rated 4 / 5 stars November 20, 2008

Needs more colors!

It's a very good flash. I liked the humor you presented here. It's so unexpected at times that I just had to laugh (for example that "epic music" when Mr Jonatthan was hungry and wanted a Milkshake).

The graphics are pretty good most of the time, too. It's amazing how you managed to draw so detailed with just a few lines and without (or nearly without) any colors!

The animations are lacking some quality, though. The few bits you animated look good, but when Mr Jonatthan walks, he only moves his legs while the rest of the body remains stiff.

You should also add some more sounds and voices to the flash. You could leave the text in the flash as subtitles, but voices are necessary I think. With some good voice acting the flash wouldn't be as boring (because reading the text the whole time gets a little bit boring). Also the buttons to advance the text wouldn't be needed anymore.

While I liked the details you presented with only black and white I still think that the flash needs colors. It would look pretty amazing with the right coloring and decent shading.

Overall it's a good flash, but if you would add voices and colors (while keeping the filesize at the same size as it is now [if not even a bit lower if possible]) this could easily win an award!

{ Review Request Club }


Grimasen responds:

Hi, your review is very interesting. Thanks.


CodeMachineCodeMachine

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars November 9, 2008

It was okay

But I got tired of clicking everything to continue the story. Also, please add things while they are talking, it gets quite boring.



natwelnatwel

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars November 9, 2008

je ne sais quas!!

Very interesting animation, and surreal as well