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Cowboy Toast

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Author Comments

A short flash I made about a cowboy whos still practising.

so am I really

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not bad

a bit short

Not bad, but needs improvement.

This wasn't a bad movie, and you showed effort at creating something coherent, so I'm not going to vote a zero on this. However, some improvement is needed.

First off, the plot was slightly unclear and very short. I had to watch it twice to realize he had shot the toast. Expand it, and if you don't add dialogue spell things out for the viewer.

The animation was limited. Try to make slightly smoother lines, but I know it can be hard if you don't have a tablet. With some more movement, a longer plot and slightly improved visuals (they don't have to be Adam Phillips good to make a good flash) you could have a pretty funny sketch here.

rofl

"I'm callin you out TOAST!!".....He needs to say that. lol.
Pretty good, just a few suggestions.
1.) Tumbleweeds aren't grey, they're usually sum shade of brown.
2.) Needs a bit more build-up. Why is he shooting toast?
3.) Animation just in general needs improvement.

Credits & Info

Views
6,234
Faves:
1
Votes
4
Score
3.66 / 5.00

Uploaded
Sep 1, 2008
8:02 PM EDT