Eulogy For: Mojo: Bare-Assed Monkey

(Score at Death: 2.49/5.00)

This submission was BLAMMED by our users.

Here is its eulogy, a collection of the kind words written about it while still among the living. They shall live on forever in its place.

08/09/00 – 10/28/07


Submitted by <deleted> with the following comments:

This movie will reveal your true soul.

Score: 2
Slaughtered

"So so"

date: August 9, 2000

Good Ideas..crappy drawings.. Nice job over all though. There was some funny shit in there. Hey whats up with the 1 legged boy at the zoo!?! ehehe


Score: 7
Dilandu

"Muunky..."

date: August 9, 2000

If there was an award to be given for ass-control, then that monkey would get the Gold!
That monkey could play the piano with an ass that limber!


Score: 8
EviLGoD

"FUNNy"

date: August 10, 2000

this was a pretty funny movie, but i want to see more monkeys rampaging around the city!!!!


Score: 8
ToadZero

"ROFL!"

date: August 11, 2000

Ah haha! When he farted on the kid and set him on fire I was crying I was laughing so hard, and it was very ren&stimpy-esque when he slapped the guy with his buttcheeks. Forgiving the graphics I liked it a lot! keep up the good work.


Score: 10
Sexymime

"This isnt getting enough credit!!"

date: August 11, 2000

This was great!! the rating should be higher!! I love rampaging monkeys and im making a cartoon about one that robs a bank right now! maybe we can work together some time. mimemasta_9999@yahoo.com


Score: 6
cheepskaight

"uh.........."

date: August 16, 2000

original, yes. funny, yes. graphics, no. liked it, yes.


Score: 6
Crackpuppet

"Oh dear lord"

date: August 22, 2000

hehehe - you seriously have issues, my friend :)


Score: 2
DrUnKeN-LLaMa

"His ass so hairy!"

date: October 27, 2000

Monkey ass very hairy. me no like it. his shit get caught up in hair when he defficate. what does gun store man say? me no understand. woman with kid very fat. lopsided boobies. methinks this was equal to movie made about squirrel shitting. thank you.


Score: 10
Ebounce

"omg man so great"

date: January 5, 2001

hell yeah man, great movie, love the ending song, n all the different angles , so twisted so great


Score: 8
Jakegus

"haha"

date: March 31, 2001

Beautiful. I love the multiple angles for the ass slapping part. And then when he... hahaha
Give this man the award.


Score: 8
franticapparatus

"AHHHHH!!"

date: July 13, 2001

Shit, dont ever watch this while youre stoned as hell. I smoked a lot of KB and watched this and I was laughing and crying for like 20 minutes. It was great though. Nice monkey.


Score: 9
catattack69

"Oh my god that was fucking halairious!!!"

date: November 29, 2001

I personally loved it!My favorite part was when mojo was slapping that guy in the face with his butt and then farting and blowing his head off!!!Aha!Keep the movies coming!Not bad at all for a first timer!


Score: 0
Satanist-Lock

"fUCK THIS AND THE AUTHOR."

date: February 18, 2002

This is the biggest piece of shit ive ever seen.
it sucks so much ass, as you do (the author) so fuck the author i hate this shit!!!


Score: 0
Rolling-Monte

"What the fuck was that?"

date: February 20, 2002

I have seen some Bullshit before, but that sucks ass!!!! shut the fuck up asshole!


Score: 1
perji

"that was very very poor"

by: perji
date: March 31, 2002

Before you create a portal entry, I suggest you learn how to animate, put sound to it, make it run smoothly and actually create something that isn't a complete waste of time.


Score: 0
buttassman

"Crapola"

date: June 21, 2002

I know I probably couldn't do any better, but the whole concept was bad. Why the hell did the guy just sit there like a retard while a monkey slapped him in the face with his ass? And what the hell was that about the guy eating shit? I think you have some latent homosexual and fetish issues that need to be worked out through extensive counseling and therepy. Especially the scatological aspect of the whole thing.
(this is my bro's screen name. not mine. sorry for the inconvienience)


Score: 7
FredCloud

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRiiight"

date: November 26, 2002

how did he get out of the zoo?


Score: 0
assasin-steve

"Can you say BLAM ?!?!?"

date: December 6, 2002

that ass slaping part went far too long. Even though i cant do eny better, this is the worst flash of all time!!!


Score: 0
Cherdehar

"wow that sucked"

date: December 26, 2002

wow that was shit!


Score: 7
TheMaskedOutcast

"ok..."

date: January 14, 2003

pretty damn good for a first portal entry


Score: 7
darkagnet

"not bad"

date: January 15, 2003

like he said, great for a first entry! hope you can put up more. :D


Score: 5
8th-immortal

"not bad...."

date: January 30, 2003

it had its moments.....yeah. but its worth checkin out. I'd like to see another installment.


Score: 7
Heretik-Johnson

"Mostly good and all crude"

date: February 11, 2003

I loved the entire thing. With possibly the exception of the whole butt in the face part. It was good for a laugh, but the prolonged amount of time made it grow old. This was very good work and very original. I wouldn't mind seeing another, as long as we keep the rim job slaps to minimum. I'm not saying no rib job slaps cause I'm a fan, just not too much.


Score: 10
FinalFantasy69

"haha"

date: February 14, 2003

haha bare assed monkey doing some messed up shit


Score: 8
Tarantulady22

"Good 1st portal submission."

date: March 9, 2003

Two words: EBOLA VIRUS!


Score: 7
fratcollegeguy

"Spank the monkey"

date: March 13, 2003

Bad monkey, good film. This is your first time! Wow I am impressed...


Score: 6
4-stroke-psycho

"simplistic yet effective"

date: March 13, 2003

very funny and very good for you first time.i suggest making the ass transform into different things like a fist or an anvil when its beating someone up.


Score: 7
TOM-EMINEM

"FUNNY BUTT"

date: March 26, 2003

FUNNY when monkeys ass slaps mans face and farts it off fucking brilliant i would of gave it a 10 if the graphics were better.


Score: 0
NG-LOGITECH

"this movie suckeed cock"

date: April 14, 2003

uu cocksucker this was the cockiest game me and my hairy cock have ever played u have the imagination of cheese medallions!!!COCKSUCKER


Score: 5
Baby-Bob

"Bizarre"

date: April 23, 2003

Strange. Overall, weird.


Score: 6
DevastatoR-da-X

"wasnt terrible"

date: May 5, 2003

why was the mother not at all phased by the ignition of her son by a monkey with alcohol and a shot gun? it did make me laugh in places tho - like the continuos slappage of the guy at the table by a monkeys ass...lol


Score: 4
MonkeyFuzz

"yes it was...."

date: May 15, 2003

sorry dude but, you give monkeys,animators and psyco-killers a bad name!


Score: 0
electricjesusagain

"U suck ASS"

date: June 14, 2003

Go jump off sumthing guy


Score: 10
sgsdgds

"electricjesusagain you are fuck gay"

date: June 27, 2003

electricjesusagain what the fuck kinda name is that your a dumbass homo fuck retard shit eatin goblin. shove somemore giraffes up your pussy and shut the fuck up


Score: 5
Fly-boy69

"HEHE good monkey"

date: August 12, 2003

Lets c that was good it also was good and o ye it was bloody funny monkey should of had his balls kut off just for fun

Big red fat ass being kiked

Laters

Fly_boy69


Score: 5
Neverdawn

"uhhh drawing?"

date: August 19, 2003

I don't know, but, the drawing style is horrible...
Don't start going like "stfu dude you never madee flash you can't draw by yourself) because I can draw.
Violence was good though, just couldn't stand the bad art...
:/


Score: 0
tomato150

"That Drawing Style Is Gay..."

date: September 13, 2003

It's gonna give me fuckin' nightmares....


Score: 6
Spiritual-Atrophy

"alright"

date: September 14, 2003

frankly it wasnt that funny at all. i thought it was pretty gay. except for the monkey smacking the guys head with his ass, now that made me laugh pretty damn hard.


Score: 8
IamGoddess

"hehe"

date: September 18, 2003

That was a freaky looking monkey, well, the people were pretty weird looking too. But overall it was great, funny. Good job!


Score: 7
jdun102

"Ass-erific"

date: September 28, 2003

this should be renamed to ass-ercize with your faveorite monkey. The fun I could have if my butt cheeks moved like that.


Score: 7
Communist-Eyes81

"Wow..."

date: October 13, 2003

....What the fuck did I just see?!?!?!?!


Score: 10
pyth

"DUDE!!!!"

by: pyth
date: October 20, 2003

MONEKYS ROCK!! AND YOU MADE THEM LOOK RETARDED GJ MAN FINALY MONKEYS JUST LIKE ME:) RETARDED!!


Score: 0
LordHawk

"HORRIBLE!!!"

date: November 1, 2003

Dude...that Flash Anime sucked. That was a horrible show. I'm sorry but that thing needs alot of work for it to be any good at all.


Score: 4
Linkfookedzelda

"...."

date: November 6, 2003

psychotic


Score: 10
CircusMonkey

"This will come to haunt me in my dreams."

date: November 24, 2003

This monkey flash burned a hole into the lobes of my mind and grasped my memmory banks and made me think differently about monkeys.


Score: 7
Dark-Tsunami

"lmao"

date: November 25, 2003

stuff like this is awsome raunchy comedy is the best:D


Score: 5
Pulha

"it prooves..."

by: Pulha
date: December 14, 2003

it prooves you CAN light a fart on fire.


Score: 1
dw817

"very lame"

by: dw817
date: December 16, 2003

That SWF was a terrible waste time.

David


Score: 1
x-evilpoptart-x

"That really sucked monkey balls"

date: December 30, 2003

That had to be one of the worst toons I've seen on NG.


Score: 6
clear-kinomoto

"ok..."

date: January 2, 2004

that was shitty man. The part where he put his ass on his face was stupid.


Score: 0
MadInno

"..."

date: January 21, 2004

You have a lot of free time on your hands, don't you?


Score: 7
Back-Door-Baron

"A quick rant..."

date: February 18, 2004

What pisses me off is when people like the person before me gives reviews like that. What's the point? So you hated it-- who does it help to just give straight 0's and question the artist's integrity? That's just idiotic and pointless. If you didn't like it, say why and what you would have liked to have seen changed. Reviews are places to give your opinion, and that review gave us no opinion.

That being said, I thought this was an extremely funny movie, and having seen each of your submissions in reverse chronology I could see how this one showed promise for what was to come. I knew it was going to be hilarious from the get-go... the kid eating the deer droppings in the background?? Beautiful touch! That was hilarious, and I know you have so much more in you from what I've seen lately. You've quickly climbed the ranks of my favorite authors list, so keep giving us amazing works. Thanks.


Score: 5
NYghtSaberZeto

"Uhhhhhhhhh..."

date: February 29, 2004

so a monkey kills alot of people and wastes his time face-smashing an old man with his ass.
Then shoots 2 other people...right...


Score: 0
fartyfuck

"Shit"

date: March 5, 2004

This is the stupidest piece of shit I've ever seen. I'd rather fuck my sister than watch this. Hell, I fuck my sister anyway. Get another hobby, you stupid kid.


Score: 3
piratemonkey

"I feel a bit dumber."

date: March 7, 2004

It was ok, just seems like one of those movies that leaves you wondering why you wasted your time letting it load afterward. I mean don't get me wrong, you can't go wrong with monkeys. Just this one was too mucl ike someone was just bored and didn't think a story through. Eh, it all depends on your tastes I suppose.


Score: 7
gothicstars1

"what a crazy ass monkey"

date: March 9, 2004

fucking psycho monkey, id have shot that fuck right in the head.


Score: 10
Glanjula-Man

"funny"

date: April 21, 2004

maan dis is sum funny sh1t gud 1 i luv it.


Score: 1
Silentwulf4

"Oh god make it stop!"

date: April 25, 2004

I couldn't sit through this mess! How did it avoid getting blammed?! I would have given a better if it was at least funnier or more clever. It looks like a bored 12-year old's piece of work. Never do anything like this again!


Score: 5
Slync

"Crappy drawing"

by: Slync
date: April 26, 2004

The best thing in movie was the music. The picture was really crap. Atleast make the monkey look good, the story...there is no story. The violence was blindly used and it wasnt even that funny.


Score: 2
McMegaFlashDude

"..."

date: May 21, 2004

?????????????????????????????????????????????????

WTF???? A MONKEY SLAPS A GUY WITH HIS ASS AND SHO0TS SOME OTHER PEOPLE THEN IT FINISHES....this is...this is just...OMG THERE ISNT A WORD THIS SERIOUSLY SCREWED UP FILM!!! ITS JUST ANETWEN90425*&£*&$ *(ynrfruh*((gh)(_*$


Score: 7
Nookie9

"666"

date: May 30, 2004

that was great! the crappy animation just made it funnier. Loved the expandable monkey ass


Score: 0
n1k

"what the fuck"

by: n1k
date: June 1, 2004

Usually I'm nicer when i review and tell the person how they could improve.
But basically all I cna say for this is that it was fucking stupid, and it was the most pointless retarded 8 year old produced peice of shit I've ever watched in my life. The sutpidest part was the monkey slapping the guy with his ass...if you like that part then you're no older than 10 and you have the attention span of a small swamp rat.

Don't even watch this if you have half the IQ of a loaf of bread, just Blam this peice of shit and be on with your day.


Score: 2
SixthSenSe

"Man, u ave a sick sense of humer."

date: June 8, 2004

Read above,man its sick,were u brought up like this?


Score: 1
splap

"Fuck this shit"

by: splap
date: June 11, 2004

This is a waste of everybodys time dont submit stuff like this!! This is just wrong!!


Score: 8
MikeDogg

"Almost killed me."

date: June 15, 2004

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I love the flapping butt cheeks, very original. I never laughed so hard.


Score: 9
CaddyCo

"COOOOOOOOOO-LEO!"

date: June 19, 2004

uh, sry, but yeah, it was cool, had alot of funny action violence going on, good job.

(-__-)-VEDY GOOD!!


Score: 8
Squirre-the-Squirrel

"woah!"

date: June 20, 2004

crappy animation but the idea is good and i had some good laughs! =)


Score: 0
Ganke

"."

by: Ganke
date: July 3, 2004

Why?


Score: 10
racso

"dude i love it"

by: racso
date: July 14, 2004

this is soooooooooooooooo good it almost killed me it was so funny ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

keep up the good work dude


Score: 10
CoolGuy713

"hilarious"

date: July 30, 2004

hilarious


Score: 2
punkeypheesh

"hmmm"

date: August 7, 2004

I don't like slating people because I know how much time and effort goes in to making an animation. However, If you're going to spend that much time, at least spend it doing it properly.
You said this flash was 3 years old right?
Why not make an updated version?


Score: 6
Hendrixman42

"ummm"

date: August 10, 2004

This is kinda cruddy as far as sound and animation go. but It's still pretty funny.(especialy at the end.) I thought it was ok but not worth a second look.


Score: 8
Gaz-Metal

"Funny"

date: September 25, 2004

That was cool. As long as you get your point across who cares what the animation looks like. The point was a monkey killing people and farting some dudes head off. Cool as....!


Score: 6
TigerChick

"haha butt monkey"

date: October 2, 2004

That was really cool and funny it doesnt matter about graphics as long as the humour's top notch quality (like this was). So despite the graphics being not very good and the animatiosn needing a little cleaning up this still gets a 6 because i feel it is just about above average. well done :)


Score: 10
chococattia

"That was a awesome cartoon! :-)"

date: November 23, 2004

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo, COOOOOOOOOOOOL. I liked the part where the monkey slapped that guys face with his ass, and then his head fell off. LOl. Talk about not realistic, but still it was pretty funny. Watch this movie. OR DIE!


Score: 10
MADANTHONY1232

"Funny shit dog"

date: November 30, 2004

This is one of the funnest toons i've seen so far!


Score: 10
LadyCortania

"OMG!!!"

date: December 22, 2004

Gratitous violence, a drunken money with a gun...what more could you want???


Score: 10
Legionnaire-X

"Haha the kid ate the shit."

date: December 31, 2004

The mom's voice.. ROFL

The monkey was smashing the guys face in betweeen each of his ass cracks hahahah.


Score: 4
him4bam

"this wasnt at all that funny actually it sucked"

date: April 14, 2005

what the hell is this


Score: 1
Great-5

"Terrrrrrrible"

date: April 17, 2005

I hated it. No plot, one monkey with SERIOUS issues and a hobby of burning little kids. This movie was total crap, and I'd seriously LOVE to kill that dumb monkey. Dude, get a better plot, you are obviously better than this.


Score: 7
logboy

"this was crude but good"

by: logboy
date: May 5, 2005

i liked the crazy monkey. it was funny when the fat woman spoke and it sounded like jabba the hut. nothing wrong with this little effort...i even liked the crude drawings.


Score: 10
L33T-Freekill

"hahahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

date: May 7, 2005

i laughed my ass off when the woman spoke xDDDD great job weird drawings but that's what makes it funny too


Score: 10
screaminbitch

"LOL"

date: May 23, 2005

That was an awesome animation
My fav part was when the fat woman spoke and she sounded like a mix between a broken record and a dying dolphin


Score: 0
BeNNy-cHicK

"BIG FAT ZERO"

date: June 10, 2005

ITS A MONKEY WITH A BIG ASS GET OVER IT!
1st off; you cant kill somone who owns a gun store with his guns. The guns are always protected from robbers, AND there never loaded so even if you got your hand on one you cant shoot, and the man selling them has hundreds of guns in his own reach behind the counter, you think a monkey will get one befour he does for defence?
2nd off; you cant decapetate somone with your ass, no matter how much you try, nor can you move your bum muscles that way.
3rd off; when you shoot somone in the head, there head dosnt fall off it 'explodes'
Conclusion; get better ideas, think it through, and WAY BETTER GRAPHICS YOU LOSER!


Score: 4
enigmal-insanity

"mojo the crapola"

date: June 16, 2005

the beginning almost gave me a seizure and the moment I saw that the donkey in the background was not moving his legs but still propelling forward (somehow), I could not stand to watch any more, therefore failing to see the humor, let alone mojo the monkey. sorry.


Score: 2
69apourcupine

"EWWW"

date: June 27, 2005

that was really gross please dont make any more like that i seriousley couldent watch past the guy who got he monkey ass in his face i loved whatever font u used that cartoon was nasty and scary!!! now i have nightmares thank u very much


Score: 0
10dollarbill

"lmfao that was so stupid im tellin you why 2......"

date: June 29, 2005

ok for one thing how can i little monkey kill a man with guns i know its a cartoon but really... plus the monkey farts in someones face and it kills him (wat are you 3) farts are not funny. the friggin mom sees her son die what the fuck is she gonna say to her husband or the father honey another one of our kids died. u really are sick in the head the positions u put that monkey in its like you wanna fuck the monkey!!!!!!!!!
other than the entire movie it was ok... it mean it sucks.


Score: 0
DevilDogg666

"Don't Quit Your Day Job, Hoss"

date: July 4, 2005

Ok, i've seen some pretty stupid shit on this site, but i think that one pretty much takes the cake. I mean, how can a monkey beat up a liquor store guy, and a person who sells guns for a living. You would think that the gun salesman would shoot that monkey as soon as he saw him coming down the street, but I guess that's animation for ya. Oh, and the guy that got killed by the monkey clapping his head between his ass cheeks...??????? Where the fuck did you come up with that one??? The sad thing is, the guy just sat there and didn't move a muscle. I mean, if some monkey came up to me I would probably bitch slap that mother fucker. Anyway, you're flashes suck dick, so like I said above, don't quit your day job you faggot-ass, monkey-fetish-having peckerhead.


Score: 10
googly-googs

"Gotta Luv This!!!"

date: September 17, 2005

nice work i pissed my self lafing the best part was where the monkey's ass grew and slaped the shit out of that dude i mean how the hell did you manage to come up with that keep up the good work 10/10


Score: 1
AfroUnderscoreStud

"Oh for fuck's sake. That was pathetic."

date: October 12, 2005

The first joke was horrible, a kid eats a shit, shit jokes aren't funny, they never were and they never will be. After that the monkey went into a bar and a club and stole some beer and a shotgun, and I thought "right, finally, this is going somewhere" and I thought that it had the ability to be a good movie, but you just fucked it up by reverting back to how this started. The monkey threw beer over a boy, farted on him and the kid went up in flames, then the monkey repeatedly arse-slapped a man before farting in his face, fart jokes aren't funny either, they never were and they never will be. Then the monkey went on a killing rampage, it wasn't interesting at all but I thought that maybe you were finally going to do something with the movie, but you didn't you just ended it, I did like the end though where the monkey shot the screen, it did end it nicely, but unfortunately the movie was basically about fart jokes and the humour to ti was obviously absolutely terrible. You should have taken a different approach to this movie as it could have been funny, you just had to not have any fart, shit, piss or sex jokes in it and you'd have been fine. The voices needed a lot of work, as they were of a poor quality, you had your mouth too close to the microphone, the voice you used for the lady was horrible and excluding the news reporter everyone was hard to understand.

Peace Out, Afro Stud

0/5


Score: 6
NDynomate911

"funny,but nasty"

date: November 27, 2005

This cartoon is for mental kids who think that stupid thing are always funny. I think the light the kid on fire and the mans head blown off by the monkeys fart was some what funny but over all i give this a 6


Score: 5
Vinbasshred

"it was so stupid.."

date: March 18, 2006

..but like the last guys said, the lighting-kid-on-fire bit and fart-decapitation was worth it. It made me laugh, although I'm a bit ashamed of that. You people don't know me anyways.


Score: 1
metry

"this really sucked"

by: metry
date: May 3, 2006

this made no sense at all i didnt like it at all...dumass monkey.


Score: 1
roZodd

"WTF?"

by: roZodd
date: August 8, 2006

that was utter crud
the flash mainly consisted of a monkey slapping a man with his ass cheeks
and it was poorly animated
the soundtrack was just one song on a loop and one last thing,
arent all monkeys bareassed?
xxroZxx


Score: 1
Kellydakitkat

"Mojo: Bare-Assed Monkey"

date: July 30, 2007

Pretty stupid.


Score: 10
connormc0

"awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

date: August 3, 2007

lol the fat chick is in slow mo instant classic


Score: 0
dragonman1

"gay"

date: September 23, 2007

dont you have anything better to do?