Score: 9
"A pre=work review"
date: May 11, 2008
Hey dude -
Nice movie! Nice work with the 3D - personally I would've cheated a lot more and had less of it in there, but I'm all about compression heh. What was in there was great. I didn't notice the stars being out of sync with the action like the other guy said, apart from that initial shot with the enemy ship. Plus it's bloody difficult to do!
Laser effects were wicked - for when they connect with ships - depending on what effect you want there, you might want to remove the 'splash' when they connect with the enemy, unless they are plasma or something, I think it's more dramatic if they slice into the hull rather than splatter. (and less work!)
Yea, there's nothing wrong with the action sequence itself - however i think another layer of SFX and in-battle chatter would help to know what's going on. You start with your pilots dialouge to himself, and he sounds like he'd trash-talk whilst fighting, but it's completely silent. On from that you should definately put some of the character in otherwise you can't connect with it at all - it's just pretty. Like, just before he does that spinning manouver, there should be a shot of him saying 'lets see how you handle this' and yanking the stick or something like that.
Quite liked the ship, reminded me of my F18! The swearing did too, I stopped swearing for my SC episodes as it is kinda pointless, and people ripped me to shreds about pointless swearing.
I also thought that damage readout at the end was pretty pointless. Adds nothing to the plot, and the ship fixes itself as quickly as you read what was wrong with it - might've been more effectual if we were actually in the cockpit with the pilot hearing the warning bells, maybe seeing the fixy robot / whatever he does to fix it - but since it has no baring on anything it just kinda ends the clip in a lull rather than an intense action funfare.
Great work, keep at it - the biggest things I'd work on would be character development. I'd also probably make the episodes longer / have something significant happen in each one, this felt like a teaser. Must go to work now heh hopefully that's useful - it really is a great peice of work!
May 12, 2008
Author's Response:
:D Great to hear from you, the nose cam was a direct homage to 'Air Skirmish', heh, glad you wrote a review! I'm taking it all onboard for my next submission! The splash effect was really there only due to poor planning, not realising what I had done was going to screw me over in future-half completed scenes where changing the layout of the ships to provide effective-looking damage.
I won't be removing the swearing though, I know I may receive some criticism, but It's gonna be an adult series with adult characters and realistic adult language, in other words, the language used will be based on the character.
Anyway man, good to hear from you again, don't be a stranger now! Submit some new cool stuff!