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*June 2011 Update
For anyone interested in watching more of my recent dark animations and artwork visit my website at:
I thought this was going to be amazing when......
I heard kill switch engages my last serenade but u didn't let it get to the heavy part.;(
Big let down but seriously now; the walk rate was a little choppy try speeding up the frame rate maybe that might make it smoother. I had no problem with the poem howerver. overal decent animation. Keep it up make them better.
I do agree that the poem needs a little work. Some of the words you used were there simply because they rhymed. You might head somewhere like fanstoryDOTcom and submit the poem for critique, perhaps enter it into a workshop and let some professionals help you take it from an 'okay' poem to an 'awesome' one.
Otherwise the animation was good, loop or no loop. I'd like to see more work from you. A 6 for good artwork, but the improvement of the poem and perhaps the addition of a voice-over (a creepy one, of course. Vincent Price-esque =P) would take it up to 8+. Good job.
Gotta love the music, ambiance, and animation. However, I hope Tristan is not a native English speaker. The idea behind the poem is awesome, but it needed several more drafts before it was up to the quality of the rest of the flash. And yah, it's a loop, but I think that adds to the mood in a way, because he's doomed to stick around in the same spot for eternity.
So, a macabre masterpiece, but please work up the poem a little.
From a technical aspect, I can definitely appreciate the amount of work that went into that animation loop, particularly in how well layered it is and the detail pieces. That being said, it's just that, a loop. So from a compositional standpoint, I'm a bit underwhelmed, particularly in how the poem itself is delivered in a rather small scrolling text box. I found myself not even reading the poem to see if anything new would happen animation-wise.
I think this showcases your skills very well, but it falls short of being an effective vehicle for what you're trying to accomplish overall. I'll definitely look forward to what's to come from you, however.
why did u submit this again i may ask?...other than that..
story good...anamation...guy walking!that is so cool!
A short film about a park bench
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