: Conspire To Rewire :

rated 4.13 / 5 stars
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Comedy - Original

Credits & Info

Feb 21, 2008 | 12:52 AM EST

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Author Comments

The Japanese are so clever...



Rated 0 / 5 stars


Before I begin this review, I would like to say that I'm not rating this a zero just to be an ass. I've been disappointed with your work for a long time, but I've been willing to give your stuff multiple chances to impress me.

The last flash of yours that I had seen was Hot Enough For Ya, which was...not exactly a sterling example of creative brilliance. Considering that you've released several works since then, I don't think I'm unreasonable in expecting some improvements in this episode, both in terms of construction and presentation.

Unfortunately, I was disappointed.

GRAPHICS---2/10. Same old graphics, nothing new or interesting. There's almost zero animation; hell, both characters are all but stationary. The random sex doll theme of this episode didn't win any points from me---I'll elaborate in the Presentation category. At least there weren't any traced bitmaps this time.

SOUND---2/10. Same old sound quality. Character voices are barely tolerable...the quality is okay, but I've never liked the squeaky voice of Foamy and I doubt I ever will.

HUMOR---0/10. The robot's blabberings were childish scat humor, something I'd expect of the Barney Bunch (Drew rest their souls) and not an award-winning multiple-front-page user like you. Foamy and his buddy didn't bring up anything clever or witty...just ranting. And that ranting is old.

OVERALL PRESENTATION---0/10. Look, one sex-themed flash is cute. Two is tolerable. But for fuck's sake, how long have you been relying on mediocre hand drawn porn and sex innuendo to get laughs, now?

Sexual humor and images are not inherently bad---hell, my flash work is founded on it. But if it's not funny/arousing, and---most importantly---not in an appropriate context, it crashes and burns.

I'm not zero'ing this because it features a sex robot. I'm not even zero'ing this because you've played the Teenage Fap Card countless times before. I'm zero'ing it because it lacks the appropriate context. It looks like it's trying to be sexy, funny, and clever, all at the same time---and it fails to reach any of those goals.

The drawings aren't good enough to turn me on. The humor is childish and unfunny. The wit's highest point is "make it poop on them".

No sir, I didn't like it.

WAYS TO IMPROVE---Honestly? Like a bunch of others have said, move on. The series is older than dirt, and it's been getting worse, not better, for years. There is no improvement between this flash and Hot Enough For You, which you submitted six months ago. Concept is dead; move on.

Your basic art skills are decent, but for the love of Fulp, ANIMATE. Make the characters do something other than wave their hands and shift their posture. This would be getting a three or four from me if the robot had actually DONE what she said, instead of them just talking about it. And if the humor had been lulzworthy, it probably would have gotten a seven or eight from me.

But as it is, this is little more than a Pube Muppet flash without the funny. Which is nothing. Hence the score I'm giving you.

I hope to see something new and interesting from you in the future. Try something else---anything. Doesn't have to be something epic, but anything new (non-NY) from you would revitalize a lot of people's interest in your work.

As for me? Well, I've nearly lost hope. I was hoping to get a lol-fest, hoping that half a year would have given you time to improve...but, alas, I was wrong.

When it comes to potential, you're ahead of most of the guys here. I know that you have the tools available to make a decent flash. But when it comes to execution, presentation, and context...you're on the same achievement level as Pube Muppet or the Barney Bunch. And while that's okay for us self-admitted bums, it shouldn't be okay for one of the most popular artists on this site.

Don't worry about Foamy. If you make a new and original series, and it's enjoyable, I promise that we'll embrace it just like we did for Neurotically Yours...back in 2003.


Rated 0 / 5 stars

Name recognition, yet more epic failure. Amazing.

I log in to Newgrounds to rate some movies I like, I spot this. I check in again afew a good many months to see if anything has changed.

Not a thing has changed. You still put zero effort into anything except softcore animated boobs.

There was next to no animation, the snipey comments weren't funny, the premise was utterly devoid of meaning, humor or wit.

Why do you even bother anymore? No, seriously. Are you sitting there raking in the money from your store, Hot Topic and the legion of ad-banner hits, and just don't feel like contributing anything anymore?

Perhaps you feel any joke or work you do is going to be appreciated, no matter how utterly effortless it was to create? I mean really.

You used to rant about the stupidity of people, and how stupidity ruins good things. And how conditioning legions of zombies is a bad thing, how it leads to bad places and bad situations. And now you enable people 10-30 to become dogmatic, enthusiast fanboys (and girls) that further cheapens expectations, encouraging blind fealty for perpetually degrading dividends.

I guess I expected more from a person that went from poorly animated flash cartoons hosted on a hokey website, to selling boxed DVDs at local retailers. PURELY mobilized on a conveyor belt of people, essentially bodysurfing on it's popularity.

If you were an underground musician, your equivalent would now be a lazy, overpaid, oversexed, overexposed, under talented, self important solo guitarist. One who gets on stage, strums a poorly conceived series of notes, then sits there with the Donation Hat out. And of course, the fanbase provides. So you sit there smoking, collecting your earnings and then pondering how long you can afford to procrastinate to provide content, before squatting and pushing out another lackluster presentation.

1.) Get over yourself. If you and somebody else each say 'Grape Twatted Pancake', it doesn't become any more hilarious to hear it from you. Writing isn't somehow funnier when it comes from you.
2.) Put effort into your presentation. What are you trying to say, what jokes are you trying to string together? Ask yourself if anybody BUT your zombified LEGIONS of yes-men will enjoy it. More people than the ones programmed to vote five and ten to anything with your label on it.
3.) Go back to whatever roots that fueled and inspired your work before. Maybe it was poverty, or a desire to appeal to an unfamiliar audience that encouraged cleverness. Now you just don't seem to care- Japanese sex-robots saying "Poop" in a feminine tone? This from the guy that brought the Amittyville Toaster? c.C
4.) Self-censorship: As the level of integrity for Germaine went down, so did your integrity degenerate. Comedy and pornography (or at least, suggestive themes) are usually capable of being employed by comedians, and it promotes a great synergy that one bounces off the other for a greater product than either could provide. But you.. you put so little thought or effort into it, that your wit and comedy suffers, your sexually suggestive themes are just annoying fanservice, and no synergy exists there at -all-. You're sacrificing the whole content of either porn or comedy, and aren't even reaping the dividends of a dually faceted product!

The Japanese are clever; they have a phrase for this level of failure and inefficiency.
Look it up.

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