Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
Thanks for the second frontpage Tom!
The second installment of the series "Conditions".
PLEASE WATCH EPISODE 1 BEFORE WATCHING THIS.
NEWGROUNDS.COM/ portal /view /417311
A criminal took Red (Member of the Police Department using "The device") his wife as a hostage.
In exchange for his wife, he wants Red's device.
But Red can't release the device because of the conditions (His adrenaline level is too high).
Stay tuned for further episodes!
I think you should spend less time fapping to hentai and more time putting some actual plot structure into your flash. The animation is fine but it is pretty apparent that your story is lacking in ingenuity. And yes, the glove thing may not have been done before but aside from that, the story seems like every other typical cop story I've seen.
-the device is too powerful... (he is basically a god) by having an unbeatable weapon on the "good" side, you set up a story that is already bound to be completely uninteresting since there is no contest.
-you haven't really developed any characters...
-he could have saved his wife in an unfathomable amount of ways- I would have just created a baseball sized tumor in the "bad" guys head.... or make a diamond shield between her and the enemy... or make an extremely powerful magnet that would snatch away the gun or... or fill the gun with cheese.. etc.
-you spend all this time developing why the glove can't be taken unless under very specific circumstances when you could have just had it under the control of the "boss" (it seems like you are flaunting your "scientific" knowledge of adrenaline... why not heart rate, sweat, or any other simpler means of tension detection)
-the device would never be trusted to some agent or cop, more likely it would be in hands of scientists in some secret dwelling
Anyways, reason why I wrote this much is because I hate to see someone waste their time on something so ludicrous (which I am probably doing by writing this... meh). You should start over, you do the animating (which I'll say again is good, probably the only reason why you have a decent score), I do the script... (jks). And please don't respond by saying the next episode is going to be better... or have some sort of explanation, because there is nothing you can do that will rectify your mistakes... except starting over.
I am aware of the faults in the storyline; but that's how the story is.
Can't comprehend why people always whine about "no character development" or "plot".
I just tell a story I like, if you don't like it, that's your problem, no one needs to blame me for that.
That's my way of telling a story. Let's say, the story is an excuse for me to animate.
There is also no point in telling me to animate or not, let's describe it in the language you would understand: your review is as worthless as my story.
You also need to understand, the device is no thing that can manipulate an object out of nothing... It just uses the atom to create something out of the same material, but in another form.
Bragging about adrenaline? Oh come on... That's so ridiculous, it seems like you're looking up to me like if I'm a genius. You said it yourself, it's nothing that special, why would I be cocky about something like that?
Wouldn't you say the same if I had used heartbeat?
Nevertheless, I WILL improve on the movies, but I need time, meaning that I need more episodes.
I liked the first one better.
It was okay, But if I was that guy I would rip that other guys head off, but yeah, he was to stupid to do that. (the policeman was the stupid one.) All and All it was good.
Again, weak story, weak acting.
Why didn't the cop just take the gun out of the criminal's hand? Why didn't he just change it into a spoon? Why didn't he just stop the bullet? Why didn't he just lift the criminal off the ground? Why didn't he just kill the criminal by rearranging his atoms?
MASSIVE PLOT HOLES.
You could've at least been a little interesting with the story and made it be about the corrupting influence of the glove. Oppressive state and all that. But you had to go with the whole: "cop loses everything then goes on a rampage". Please try to be a little more innovative in the next episode.
About the gun thingy, I guess you're right, but it's a matter of time before he shoots his wife.
And I can guarantee that the next episode will be better.
This was good, but the dramatic parts were just a little bit too cheesey. You seemed to jump into the story line with the druggie too. Also, you made the officer seem too emotionally weak. He gave in a little... Too easy. Just some things I notices, but the rest,all good.
Good story line very good graphics. i have to say way better then the first. you are a good flash creator and i hope to see more in the future. the glove wepon you made up in your mind is brilliant. you have a good mind for making flashes.
This is the story of a fearless girl and her encounter with the wicked cold wind god
Art school and religion aren't that different...
a short school assignment
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.